Monday, 28 October 2013

It is a Long Walk

Living where we do we need a car, its not a luxury it is a necessity. When the car breaks down, I always get this sinking feeling of, its a long walk to civilisation. I am not very lucky with cars, in the UK I had the same car for years, so I know it isnt me, maybe its the island!

The other day the car died, really died, and needed to be gruaed to the garage, unfortunately, the car decided to die on the same day as the phone signal. So, stuck in the middle of no where, with no car, no phone signal, and only the Internet to keep me sane.

We worked out there were pockets that allowed you to make a brief call, which would be fine if you didn't have to go through 35 different switch boards to get the right department. Even wandering down the middle of the road, which had worked previously, didn't give us a strong enough signal.

So, we kept trying, kept getting cut off, and eventually we got through and the grua was ordered, or was it. No body was sure, so we waited, and we waited, oh and we waited. The problem was the grua man couldn't call us to confirm, and we knew he would never find us.

After a long time, I decided we had to go and find the grua man, I knew he would be on the road somewhere. So, off we went, knowing that it is a long way back to civilisation, thankfully he was just down the road, sat next to a car similar to mine, on his phone.

As we approached we informed me that he had been trying to call me with no success. Join the queue was my response, finally my car was gruaed and on its way to the garage, where it never returned from RIP car! I have decided that donkey power, and carrier pigeons may be better for where I live!

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Crazy Animals

Well they do say that animals are like their owners, and I am beginning to realise that is very true. A few people have called me crazy, now I do not take that as an insult, in fact crazy is good. I love my crazy world, and the people who choose to join me. However, the crazy animals are a step to far, as the ducks are now refusing to eat duck food and swapping for cat biscuits.

We feed a couple of our cats in the garage, as they are outside cats, and prefer to only pop back at meal times. So there is access to the garage for the cats at all times, but the ducks love it in there. They don't go in there because it is cool, dry, or safe, but to raid the cat biscuits.

They don't just take one or two but clear everything, including the odd biscuit that may have spilled onto the floor! Now I am no expert, but I am sure that ducks are not supposed to eat tuna, and salmon flavoured cat biscuits! When you google suitable duck food, number 5 is not cat biscuits.

We have even tried closing the door, this resulted in the ducks lining up outside similar to a school dinner line waiting for the cat biscuits. So, I don't care anymore if they are partial to some cat biscuits, maybe the rabbits would like the duck food!

Sunday, 20 October 2013

Even the Experts get it Wrong!

The ducks that we got from the animal market have been growing and improving everyday. Their feathers are returning, and looking far better than the stumps we brought home. However, we have noticed that Mario is far bigger than Luigi and Princess peach, which can only mean one thing she is in fact a drake!

When I went to the "chicken man" for the ducks I had a long discussion about the fact that I wanted female ducks, only female ducks no oooppps drakes going in the box. Now, he assured me that they were all females, and even gave the guarantee that if they werent I could return the drakes for him to eat and he would replace them.

How can I justify returning Mario because he is male, knowing that by the end of the day he would be in someones pancake rolls. So, it seems we have yet another drake to strut around, puffing out his chest and claiming his part of Casa Chaos. Hmmm this is not what I needed, but hey what's another hormonal animal who has no purpose but to eat me out of house and home!

I was telling a friend about the lack of ability to tell the sex of a duck, and she said its simple...."pull their tail" How can pulling a ducks tail help at all I enquired, but it seems that if you pull on a ducks tail, they make different noises. I would have thought they all would have made the same "get off me you crazy person noise" but hey what do I know.

So, the next time I want ducks, I am going to stand there pulling their tails, this will either be successful, or have me sectioned once and for all!

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Its Over

That title got everyones attention didn't it, don't worry its only mango season that is over! Yippee, thank god, hallelujah and a hundred other ways that I can celebrate. We have come to the end of another long summer, where the stinky smell of hot ripe mango's fills the air, and I spend hours picking, boxing, delivering.

Thank you everyone that purchased mangos, and helped us to pay the bills for another summer. Without you all I would have a HUGE pile of gone off fruit to deal with. So, onto the winter season which for us is oranges and lemons, now these I enjoy.

The smell of oranges on the tree is amazing, and I could quite easily stand and sniff oranges for hours. Ok, with that last statement I have decided that I am now officially mad. Im off to pick the last of the mangos, box them for the lady that sniffs them, and then on to perform the happy dance!

Sunday, 13 October 2013

Illegal Substances!

I needed some bushes/trees to plant near the gates as one of my dogs is like an olympic athlete when it comes to leaping over the wall. We fenced in down the side, but he thinks it is totally reasonable to sprint and clear the 5ft wall. Although this is impressive, it is also annoying, as he typically does it to chase anything that moves.

So, bushy greenery was the way forward, and a trip to the garden center is always a top idea. Nope not the garden center with the animals, but the proper official one with every plant you could ever imagine. There is something about garden centers that always makes me think I am aging rapidly.

As we wandered around, I spotted the idea plants tall, bushy and attractive, as these are of course features of a dog defence bush. We went to pay and hubby begun to snigger, now this could be about anything with him, so I ignored him. This typically causes him to tell me what he is laughing about, and he did.

He claimed that my newly bought plants that I was so proud of looked very much like cannabis leaves. At this point I starred at them, and although they had a slight resemblance, they werent! The plants came home, and were left in their pots before planting for a few days.

Everyone who came, commented on the plants, not because they were left n a stupid place, but because they looked like cannabis plants. In the end I planted them, and dismissed the stupid comments. Now proudly in place, and everytime I walk past I simply think, the garden center cant  be selling cannabis plants...can they?

Monday, 7 October 2013

What do You do With Them?

Everyone loves cute fluffy rabbits, and it is one of the first things that people ask to see when they enter Casa Chaos. Young or old, they head for bunny corner, and if you are lucky you will see baby bunnies. As people stand their with the ooooo's and ahhhhhhhh's, typically the next question out of their mouths is...What do you do with them?

Now, the moment they utter these immortal words I have two choices, lie about the bunnies destination, or tell the truth. The truth is very straightforward, but it still gets gasps of shock. I have considered telling people that I am going to make a coat out of their fur, like Cruella De Vile.

In fact this may cause less shock, however, I tell the truth, which is that we sell them, ok, so this part isn't shocking. Your average person copes with that bit of information well. In typical human nature though, they cannot just be satisfied with that answer, and head back down that rocky path.

Sell them to who? I can hear the words, and think don't go there, you will not like the answer. Anyone that will buy them I answer attempting to diffuse the bomb that is going to go off any moment. Like a thunder bolt it hits them, they suddenly realise that a proportion of the cute fluffy bunnies will end up on someone's dinner plate.

At this point I often get "The Look" the one that brandishes me a bunny killer, and eater of fluffy bunnies. For the record I do not eat rabbit, I have but not my first lunch choice. Needless to say that the conversation often takes a turn for the worse, and the bunnies are not discussed again. So, remember when you enter Casa Chaos, do not ever ask what we do with something, as you may not like the answer!

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Reasons to be Thankful

We had a whole day of rain, which is a fantastic time to sit and reflect, as everything feels fresher, and alive. As I sat, drinking my coffee, watching the rain come down, I considered how much I have to be thankful for in my life. My Dad is a very wise man, and he has always taught me that when I reach a crossroads, and feel uncertain, this is what I need to do.

As I sit I am aware that life is good, and at times I consider whether it is better than I deserve. The world is full of disappointment, suffering, pain and hardship, and yet I have time to be thankful for what I have in life. This in its own small way is a miracle.

I am learning that I am blessed and that I need to be grateful of this, and gratitude is something that we all need to learn. In a world where people continue to die of hunger, and hurt each other for no reason, it all just doesn't make sense. However, as I age I begin to understand that being grateful is a choice that you need to embrace.

I love lists, so writing a gratitude list seemed like the easy thing to do, however, it took time and effort to write the list correctly. It becomes a discipline to remind yourself all of the reasons why you need to be thankful. If you open your eyes, regardless of your circumstances, you will see there are many things to be thankful of in your life.

My reasons, on that rainy day were:

  1. I am thankful for my husband, who is my closest friend, my support, comfort and who has never let me down.
  2. I am thankful for my health, as although I cannot run marathons, or climb mountains, but I wake up every day.
  3. I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to do a job that I enjoy, always rewarding, incredibly frustrating, and at moments extremely hard. 
  4. I am thankful that my children are growing into well educated, polite young adults, who every day make us proud. 
  5. I am thankful for my friends, their creative minds, and full support at every twist and turn.
  6. I am thankful for books, as these help to inspire me, and allow me to travel into another world. 
  7. I am thankful for where I live, and having the opportunity to see it grow and flourish.
All in all as I watch the rain fall, the trees being watered, the chickens running for shelter, I am extremely thankful! 

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Sun, Sea and Sour Faces

What is it with people that are on holiday that they appear to be miserable, rude and unaware of everyone else around them. There is an international level of manners that everyone can aspire to achieve, however, in resort here this is soon forgotten.

I found myself in resort the other day, now this doesnt happen very often, and the moment I enter I remember why I do not make that journey. No one seems to be happy, they walk around with long faces, and cannot even manage a thank you, please or excuse me.

As I attempted to get round the local shop, bread in hand, I watched the tourists shuffling around, heads down, miserable, giving the feeling they would rather not be here. This then poses the question, why are you here, as no one forced you to get on the plane.

I stood browsing the wine aisle, (I needed a drink it had been a long day) as a man approached and without a word pushed me to get to the cartons of paint stripper, oh I mean cheap wine. How was this easier than saying "excuse me" "Perdon" or even "Entschuldigen"

He didn't seem to think that his actions or rudeness mattered, and continued on with his shopping. This makes me furious as there is no excuse for bad manners, regardless of how shite your holiday has been. Maybe we should enforce punishments for rudeness! 

Reminded once again why I live where I do, and why it may be annoying that a trip to the local shop takes double the time as they want to gossip, sorry catch up on everything. I am grateful that the locals smile, acknowledge each other and generally look happy to see other people.