Thursday, 24 April 2014

Do Dinosaurs Exist?

I love my children, all of them, and although only two are here with us, the other two are never far from our thoughts. Don't get me wrong we are not talking small children, as when we left the UK they were already 18 and 19. However, they will always be my babies, and remain one of the biggest things that we miss!

I have a great relationship with my son, and there are very few days that go by when we do not send each other a message. This is typically a short one liner, or a photo of something that day. Therefore, when I was in the garden center the other day looking at statues, I simply had to share with him what I found.

So, I sent this picture with the text: 
"That was in the garden center I think its fab!"
he replied:
"Is it real"
At this point I laughed and replied:
"It's a dinosaur you numpty!"
"Oh, I thought it was a lizard"
His Dad and I could not stop laughing...

I pointed out that his younger brother knew it was a raptor, and he answered with " well he sees all them things every day" 

No hun, he really doesn't see dinosaurs, I know we live on a farm, and I see crazy things everyday, but dinosaurs are definitely extinct. Bless him, you have to love your children!

Sunday, 20 April 2014

I Found a Unicorn!

Whilst collecting Jefffery I met a unicorn, and when I went home, I could not get him out of my head. There is something about horses that makes them extremely vulnerable when they are in need of help! As I looked into his eyes that day, I knew I could not leave him in hell.

Rescuing horses here is not easy, you have to perform a dance with the owner, make them feel special, and never appear to be the enemy. Although we have departments to deal with animal cruelty, the process is slow, and often does not have the outcome you would expect.

I often moan at the ex pats on the island, but in the last week they have restored my faith in human beings. I did an appeal to save Magic (the unicorn) and they dug deep, and kept going. The local people raised enough to get Magic out of hell, buy him a head collar and a much needed rug!

All I had to do now was the endless paperwork, the constant kissing arse of the owner, and ensure that everything went smoothly. It was a long few days, careful planning, but with everyone's support, financially and mentally, I did it.

There is something strange about walking around the corner of the barn, and seeing a horse stood there. Something comforting about having a horse on the property, and something satisfying about knowing that we rescued him.

Monday, 14 April 2014

Who Doesn't have a Duck in the Car on a Sunday Morning!

My sunday started like every other one, shouting at the kids, tiling the kitchen and trying to ensure that my kangaroo of a dog didn't jump over the 10ft boundary wall! Is this not how everyone spends their sunday?

Then I got a call, one of those calls that mentions the words FREE and ANIMALS in the same sentence. So, off we went in pursuit of some Canarian guy giving away animals. we had directions, but still we felt as if we were lost as we ended up in the back of beyond.

Eventually we reached our destination, and followed a guy up a narrow path to a big green gate. At this point I always wonder if I am going to be the next victim on the front of the newspaper as dead and cut up into small pieces. Nope, we were lead into an aladdin's cave of animals.

In a room smaller than my kitchen there were, goats, chickens, cats, a donkey, a turkey, ducks and a horse! All fighting for scraps of bread and food that had been thrown on the floor. At this point I have to remember that I am there to try and "save" some of these animals not give the guy a twenty minute lecture on living conditions of animals.

Although I was tempted by the cute goats, I remained level headed and asked for a duck!  We asked the guy for a box, he starred at me as if I had three heads. he gabbed a feed sack, put some holes in it so the duck could breathe, oh how nice of him, and thrust one duck in a sack in our direction.

After a brief conversation about turkeys, and the unicorn, we left, with our duck in a feed sack. The journey home was the normal smelly aroma of hot duck, and as we reached home I just had enough time to text Mrs S and tell her I had a duck in the car. Her reply " Normal sunday for you then" My friends know me so well.

Saturday, 12 April 2014

Things in the Road!

The journey down the mountain back to civilization is not that long, but you can guarantee that I see the strangest things. In the morning when I drop a child to the bus it is now dark, so the drive is even more weird.

We have to avoid dead rabbits (lots of these) nope I do not run over them just because they are dead! The other morning there was also a dead cat, so i stopped the car scooped it up and placed it on the side of the road. ( I have this thought that I wouldn't want my cat squashed over and over, so it is nicer to do this)

I even found a starving dog the other morning, laid in the road, blocking the traffic. But regardless of the animals that I see it is the people that are the weirdest. Walking is popular around here, and jogging in the dark seems to be the normal thing to do.

How they do not get hit and pushed off the mountain I do not know, however, the guy who does press ups in the middle of the road, in the dark at 7am gets the award for the weirdest person ever!

Firstly why would you decide that the middle of the road is the best place for this, and secondly, why would you need to be that active so early! As I drive back up heading for coffee, avoiding dead animals and weird people I do wonder if I am the only normal person out there? Then I remember that I did consider opening a roadkill cafe, and realised that I am just as insane!

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Canarian Logic!

Canarian and logic are never used in the same sentence as they never go hand in hand! When we moved into the goat shed in the middle of the field, there was a post box, this filled me with excitement! Not because I have a fetish about post boxes, but because it meant there was a huge chance the postman would deliver the post.

Oh how wrong I was, we went off to the post office to tell them of our move, and to tell them that the post box was there, ready and waiting. We were told that due to health and safety the postman refused to come up there to deliver post! Why the post box then I asked, to be told that it was so they could put a piece of paper in there to tell us there was post!

So, it seems they will risk their lives to put a piece of paper in the post box, but not the actual post. I honestly thought they were joking until the other day when a man arrived at the gates. Once he got over the yelling at me due to the fact the gate bell didn't work, he told me that he had put something in the post box.

I rushed to get keys, excited that my post had arrived, and that I only had to walk to the drive to get it. Wrong again, he had put a note in the box to tell me that there were letters in the post office! This made no sense at all, so he drove up to place the bit of paper in the box, but didn't bring the letters!

Off I stomped to the car, to make the 15 minute journey to the post office, clutching my bit of paper, following the guy who had put it in there. On arriving at the post office, I joined the mile and a half queue (this is the same in every country) and waited.

Whilst standing in the long queue, I thought maybe there was loads of post which is why he hadn't brought it, or a huge parcel. This would have made sense, I got to the front of the queue, handed my bit of paper over, and off the man went in search of my sack of letters. He returned and handed me.......TWO...two little letters that would have fitted in the post box....Canarian logic at its best!