Tuesday, 27 May 2014

And Another.....

The day started like many others rushing around, trying to get everything done with not enough hours in the day. I needed to go to the supermarket and the DIY store. Both have no animals, so how the hell did I come home with a duck!

Only in my life it seems do you pop to the shops, and get a call from a guy with a duck in is shower. It seems I have become the woman to call when you need to get rid of your ducks. I Learnt the other day that the Spanish buy the ducks for their childrens communion photos, and when they get too big they want rid.

Some are simply let go, some are killed and others it seems are kept in the shower, until you can find some crazy lady. So armed with fence panels, shopping and a duck we begun the journey home. My daughters BF called and she explained she couldn't speak as she had a duck on her lap.

This caused no shock, no questions, a simple ok no problem...... is my life that strange that a duck in the car is just another normal day!

Sunday, 25 May 2014

Warning He Bites!

The unicorn has settled into life here, and is showing that he really appreciates everything by biting the hand that feeds him! When I rescue animals they often show appreciation, they are grateful for the life that you have given them. However, the unicorn is proving he is very different, and even broke my finger so show how much he cares.

Magic is a biter, he bites everything from people to animals to objects, but everything has to go in his mouth. He picks up brooms, buckets, barrels, and the headcollar has to go in his mouth at least 15 times before he allows you to put it on.

When people come to see the unicorn, I do warn them that he is a biter, but still they approach with great enthusiasm, until he shows his teeth. He bit me once when he first arrived on the back of the arm, and since then I have learnt how far his neck will stretch.

Therefore, some would say that it was my own fault the other day when putting his saddle on, I reached round to pat his neck and he took this amazing opportunity to grab. With my finger tightly in his mouth, all I could think was please don't take the finger with you.

I heard he crunch, and I looked at him with pain rather than anger as he released my finger. At this point with blood running down my hand, and the urge to throw up sweeping across me, I did what anyone would do. I carried on, took the saddle off, made sure he was ok, and then walked away swearing at the top of my lungs.

I looked and thankfully I still had a finger, PHEW! then I grabbed painkillers and some vodka, for medicinal purposes you will understand. He had broken the top of my finger, could have been a lot worse, but OMG it hurts! There is nothing worse than a small injury that hurts like hell and stops you doing things.

So be warned, if you visit the Unicron bites!

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

I Finally Got the Ducklings

As many of you know I have been on the hunt for ducklings, but it seems there is a shortage this year. Everyone I called had none, and I begun to give up, however, I had a conversation with a guy one day and he claimed to be able to get a duckling.

He said that his uncle, knew a guy, who knew a guy that had a duckling, and I could have it. I waited and nothing, so I gave up, and thought this guy was like so many and simply full of himself. Until late one night, we got a call he was apparently stood in a dark alley with the duckling.

So, I had to drag myself out of bed, in the car for a 10 minute drive to collect a duckling from a guy in a dark alley. Only in my world would this seem even partially normal. he handed me a crate with a piece of wood over the top which seemed extreme for one small duckling.

As I got home I realised there was no where for the duckling to go, so I made a temporary home and opened the box. I discovered not one duckling, but a duck and seven ducklings! Bonus for me, but you do wonder where the hell he had found a mum and ducklings in the dark.....I learnt a long time ago never ask questions!

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

OMG! I am not the only crazy on the island

I don't have that many friends, and before you all rush to feel sorry for me, I do actually prefer it that way. Don't get me wrong, I know many people, but the ones I consider friends are limited. They say people come into your life for a reason, and this is very true.

I met a lady three years ago, who I was extremely jealous of, she had found her piece of paradise, and was happy. Over the years we had kept in contact, sent the odd message and spoke briefly. I watched as her life developed, took turns, not always for the better, and still thought she had the life I craved. 

We have one main connection, other than both living up a mountain, and leading hectic lives. The unicorn has brought us back together, and yesterday Mrs L took a few hours out of her life and visited. It was lovely to see her, and even nicer to be able to chat about life, all of the craziness, and not get those strange looks that are so common. 

The simple way to put it is that "She just gets it" I don't have to try and be something that I am not, I can speak about fleas, and horse shit, without a strange look. Even my other friends don't really understand, everyone calls me crazy, yet I see my life as normal. 

So as Mrs L and I sat and drank coffee in my goat shed discussing all those topics you would never dare of speaking about with fraggles, there was a sense of calm. No pretending, no half truths to make sure you do not offend, but a chat about our lives. The biggest debate of the day was are we crazy, or are the the fraggles crazy....who is to say that what I do is not normal.

Thursday, 15 May 2014

The Well Ran Dry!

Ok, we don't have a well, however, we do have water tanks and when they run dry there are problems. When I go to the tap I expect water to come out, is this too much to ask? It seems when you live on a small island this is a massive request that is often not fulfilled.

We have tanks for the house, but they are not full as our pumps are broken, so we have been taking the water directly from the street. Yes, this is how normal people get their water. However, when you live where we do, nothing is normal, and a system of different pipes and tanks are needed.

When I realised we had no water yesterday, it was the hottest day of the year, and I was mid watering every animal. I messaged the guy next door, and he flippantly replied "the water is off, use your tanks" I answered with "can't pumps broken" his response, I told you to fill them, oh well, good luck!"

Well, that was as much use as a chocolate teapot....so, there is me no water, many animals, and my mood rapidly going down hill.  Only I can manage to use every single swear word in one sentence!

Eventually we found out that the tank for the whole area was empty, how the hell did they not notice it was getting low! Another phone call later, with much drama, and exaggerated statements of my animals will die, and still he said " told you to fill your tanks.

Stupid, stupid man, as I pointed out I may not have filled my tanks, but neither did the president of the whole area, which has resulted in me not having any water! So, a stinky long night with no water, thankfully it seems I have water this morning.

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

OH SHIT! There is no Maternity Wing!

There are moments when it takes the penny far longer to drop, and the light bulb moment seems to take an eternity. I had been watching the chicken sat on her eggs, laughed about the fact that she laid them in a cat carrier, and watched as they begun to hatch.

We have had a calima recently, which ensured that the eggs were going to hatchin the heat. This was fine, I smugly grinned as they were captured inside a cat carrier. There was no chasing, or catching, everyone was snug as a bug in the carrier.

However, it suddenly hit me, a bit like a lightening bolt, I had no where for them to go!! I had NO maternity wing. This meant that late last night my son and I were wombling materials to make a maternity wing for mama and her 15 babies!

After much swearing and hammering we had finished, and the chicken was deposited inside her new accommodation. Lets see how long before she escapes, and I find her and her babies wandering around.

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Operation Vaseline!

My life is so rock and roll, I mean who else on a wednesday night would be telling her to kids to grab the vaseline, ring the boyfriend, and prepare the surgical gloves! Don't worry I have not lost the plot completely, my chickens have fleas!

When i say fleas, I mean horrible, nasty stick tight fleas that make my life hell, but due to the nature of them free ranging, chemicals are not an option. Therefore, the biggest pot of vaseline in history was the solution, but catching 150 chickens and vaselining their heads is never an easy task.

I asked my daughter to call her boyfriend (sorry not her boyfriend...they are just "friends" MY ARSE) to help with this task. In all fairness when he agreed he thought he was just catching chickens, not that there was vaseline and surgical gloves involved....welcome to the family!

So, operation vaseline began, and OMG what a messy horrible job, but after a few hours we were done! As everyone looked thankful, I cheerily said "same time next week" they did not share my enthusiasm, I have no idea why!

Monday, 5 May 2014

Chicken Logic

I have blogged before about chicken logic, or in fact the lack of logic!! Chickens are supposed to sit on eggs in a quiet, peaceful place where they will not be disturbed....however, my chickens choose the kennels!

This area of the property is noisy, always has people back and forth and is really not the perfect place. however, I have a chicken that believes the cat carrier, next to the cupboards that we use at least 20 times a day is ideal.

So, we have a chicken who s grumpy as hell, that screams at you when ever you go near the kennel area, sitting on eggs! The only plus to this scenario is that when those eggs hatch the chicks can't escape as they are already contained in a carrier! 

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Rabbits, Rabbits Everywhere!

Some animals just do not want to stay where they are put, in fact all my animals seem to spend their whole day escaping. Nicole is a wild rabbit, she is the one my son rescued one morning, and she is now fully grown.

Although she is supposed to live in Bunny Corner, keeping her in is an impossible task! You put her in, and out she jumps, this can happen at least 20 times in one day. So, one day Nicole vanished, and appeared with a smug grin on her face...yep 30 days later we had baby Nicoles!

All were living in bunny corner, until Nicole decided that her and her family were exiting the comforts of home, and going to be free. This is all well and good, but having seven rabbits running around is odd, even for me! Every time i turn around, there is a rabbit.

The rabbits are used to people so they hop round the property, but never allow you to get close enough to catch them. A few have ended up dead, well come on there are cats, dogs, and even a unicorn that didn't want them in his stable!

We are used to them now, but visitors find it strange that a rabbit passes by when you least expect it! So, if you visit, and see a rabbit yes we know they are there, and no we cannot catch them!