We have ducklings

Well my prediction was right and I am amazed as Billy has hatched his eggs, on the date that I thought they would come. This means that we have been organised waiting for the arrival, and although he only hatched 4 out of the fourteen eggs he was sat on, panic soon set in when we saw them. Unfortunately. Jessica is determined not to make things easy, and we spent the day worried, rushing around capturing jessica and locking her away.

The ducklings are cute, very small and incredibly independent  which is causing amusement. They follow Billy everywhere, and are even in the pond, which they shouldn't be. Ducklings are not waterproof, which means they can drown, so panic set in when they leapt in the pond. However, they didn't care and were bobbing around carefree.

A restless night was had as every noise I leapt out of bed to check on Billy, I'm sure by this morning, he was sick of the torch being shone in his face! What made matters worse was I could hear chirping this morning, so I leapt out of bed, ran down stairs, but could find nothing...wild goose chase, or loose duckling chase...

Top things no one ever tells you about owning a farm

The closest many people come to being on a farm is the Saturday afternoon trip to the perfectly kept petting farm down the road, where the animals are perfect, there is no poop, and nothing smells. The reality is so different, and these are my top things that no one ever tells you:

1. Animals are gross by nature, and love being gross, they will wait until the perfect opportunity to increase this grossness. Every animal appears to produce a huge amount of poop, and they do not care where they go, which typically includes over their water feeders, food containers, and sleeping area. My chickens are so athletic that they manage to poop over the top as well as the sides. This means they must perform a flying leap, with perfect bowel movement timing as they fly over.

2. Animals are violent, we may think that they are cute, but you only have to watch them for a period of time to realise that they are incredibly violent. The animals that you encounter at the petting zoo's have had their spirit broken by the thousands of little hands rubbing their heads. The inbuilt DNA of animals is to hurt everything in its path. Watch Jack for a while and you will see what I mean, the moment you break eye contact he is there head bent, ready to charge!

3. Holidays simply do not exist, you will not be able to leave for longer than two hours without chaos descending rapidly. Asking your friends to pop over and feed the cat and water the plants is a thing of the past, no one could cope with your madness. Every part of the place is waiting for you to leave, to plot its revenge. The only way out is to breed workers, who you can leave in the future before you go completely insane.

4. Everyone that lives near you is insane, inbred or waiting to kill you and bury the body. The popular shouts of "get off my land" can be heard for miles, and often the Spanish farmers will carry guns, and never be afraid to use them on anyone that ventures too close. You have to drive through the neighbourhood windows closed, and only wave when they wave first, or it will be seen as a sign of weakness.

  

Bunny Shock

Yesterday begun like every other day, shouting, screaming, chaos, and no one doing much, however  my son went to clean out the bunnies, which is one of his "jobs" This is usually a task which is done correctly, without too much stress, or problems. However, five minutes into the cleaning, I heard "Mummmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" which is usually the calll of panic.

As I ran down to the bunnies, I was expecting a dead bunny, but not what I saw...In the middle of hoppities pen was a tiny newborn bunny, i thought it was dead, but when I picked it up it was breathing. As I stood there wondering where the hell it came from, how it had got there, Miss Thunderpussy fussed around my feet.

Cleaning continued, and I asked my daughter to clean out hoppities box, so I could could the bunny in there and hope for the best. As she stuck her hand into the box to grab the straw she fell back in shock, as in his box were 6 other bunnies. slowly we pulled back the straw, and there were tiny, newborn bunnies.

So, now I have the issue of getting rid of more!

Making Money

When we started all of this on Casa Chaos I was determined that it had to make  a profit, or what was the point. My Dad laughed, as he has been in the farming industry all his life, and told me to always remember that if I wanted to make a million, I would have to invest two million. Farming in any scale is tough, and very few make a huge profit, however, I only wanted small.

There are many days when I feel that this place is a money pit, with a black hole in the centre of the drive absorbing all our money. Yet we carry on, which is the strange thing, as if it was any other business, you would walk away. I often spend hours writing lists of things that need fixing, building, or feeding, and do wonder where the money is coming from in the future.

You may question why we do it, but I feel that Casa Chaos had become part of my identity, and as with everything that you love, you will fight for it, and defend it until the bitter end. We are not a large Finca, but a small place that tries to make a success of the chaos. I am doing what I believe in, which is producing natural, organic produce, and meeting like minded, crazy people.

Another saying that my Dad enjoys is " Do what you love in life, and the money and rewards will follow" There are only two men in my life that I ever listen to and respect, my Dad and ,my husband, both very wise, and very sensible.

Cock Conversation

Men have a strange ability to talk about the weirdest things and keep a straight face, where as women tend to snigger like little school girls. Well I did the other day when my husband was complemented on his "cock" by a Spanish guy. It started as a routine trip to the ferreterias, (hardware store), which in itself is a highly male environment.

As we were stood in the queue waiting to be served the guy behind the counter acknowledged my husband with the usual "hola" after a few minuted he looked up again and in broken Spanish said " you live near me now, yes" my husband replied "yes, next village over" he forgot to add "yes you are the idiot that drives to fast down the road, and gets shouted at by everyone"...but he left that bit off.

The guy stopped serving the man who was waiting for his random screws or something, and begun a conversation along the lines of this....

"the place with the chickens"
"yes"
"ahhhh, you have a large cock, I see it every morning, very impressive"
"errrrr do you?"
"yes, I like your cock, he stands up proudly"
"I didnt think everyone could see it"
"yes, yes, everyone comments on your cock, the whole village think it is good"

Well, at this point the whole shop had stopped to listen, and even the guys who obviously didn't do English understood what was going on, I was sniggering like a schoolgirl, yet hubby kept composed and carried on, as the Spanish guy was being genuine.

The cock compliments continued for some time, finally we got served, and handshakes and pats on backs were given. Sometimes I really do not get the male race, as they all remained straight faced, and thought a mid morning conversation about "cocks" was normal. Or maybe it was just me, and my mind that was obviously elsewhere....

Sexing rabbits

The baby bunnies are ready to go, but, unfortunately  we have been let down on their destination  which has left me with four bunnies! There is no point in ranting about why this idiot has let me down, but simply I need to think of a plan B, oh and C and D. Plan B is in motion, and someone is interested in the bunnies, but of course they asked the question of what sex they were...oh shit, I havnt even bothered to look.

So, rapidly onto Google, whilst giving daughter instructions to go and blow on bunnies nether regions, yes it helps trust me I'm  a bunny expert!  and look at what they are. Now anyone will tell you sexing rabbits is never easy until they are older, but undeterred off she went armed with the knowledge of what baby bunnies willies look like.

After some time, she returned full of confidence, and announced "yes we defiantly have one boy and three girls" By the time I had turned in my chair that became 2 boys and 2 girls, and before I could speak she admitted she had no idea! Now my opinion is unless you aim to take two rabbits does it really matter, as there are no breeding issues.

So, I either admit we have no idea, or lie, which could be another option and admit nothing in the future, it worked for the duck guy, yeah thanks mate we are still dealing with mixed personalities. However, for the moment I have begun to Google rabbit recipes, and am deciding if rosemary is better than sage with roast bunny!

Goat wrestling

Sunday was a productive day, hubby decided it was time to tidy and renovate the terrace, which is good as it really needed doing. Throughout the whole event Jack stood watch, and ensured that everything wa sup to his critical eye. The gate was closed so he had to perch on the mountain, watching as everything happened below him.

Then the mistake happened, the gate was opened, and like a fat kid chasing cake, Jack was on the terrace being nosey and a pain. Now Jack is rather large now, which results in him having to be man handled quite a bit. Asking a goat to leave never really works, which means that he has to be wrestled into position.

However, before he was removed, he decided he would take a trip indoors, to have a look around. I must admit the last thing i expected to see in my kitchen was Jack, but hey a goat in the kitchen is not that strange I suppose. After he had inspected and decided there was nothing of interest, he returned to the terrace.

This was when goat wrestling occurred, as hubby attempted to remove Jack, with everyone watching.
With a lot of shoving, swearing, fighting and puffing Jack was slowly pushed back behind the gate, and the moral of the story is do not open the gate...EVER!