Searching in the dark

I live in the culo del mundo, which is dark, really dark, darker than dark, no light pollution what so ever, therefore its dark! Are you getting the picture now that its dark, which in my world equates to scary, as I am not so good in the dark. In fact I am the worlds worst for having an active imagination, and believing that every noise and movement is an axe murderer coming to kill me.

So, typically as nightfall approaches and casa chaos descends into darkness, everything is put to bed, and I remain in the house under a duvet! I don't like going out in the dark, and avoid this at all costs, however  last night I found myself in the dark, searching for a chicken! This was not by choice, and more by a stressed husband declaring that "something attacked a chicken"

Something is a horrible word to use, as it could mean anything, and the likely hood that the something was still down there was big, and scary! My husband works long hours, and comes in through the night, so when he woke me, I was scared to look at the clock. He knows never to wake me, as the one thing I love more than coffee, is sleep.

He braved this fact and woke me and told me to come with him, I felt like being a small child, and whining "Do I have tooooooo" but no I acted my age threw on some jogging bottoms, found some flip flops, and followed. The only problem was I was now behind him and he had the torch! which is the magical item that protects me. I am not sure what I would do if something jumped out at me, possible throw the torch at it and run!

Anyway, off to the orchard we trudged, hubby with the torch, and me with, well nothing! We checked everywhere, looked for this chicken that he claimed had made a horrible, dying, I'm being attacked noise.  We found...nothing, just a bunch of chickens trying to sleep, two goats that thought we were insane, and although I never thought I would agree with a goat, yes we were.

At this point he declared that it might not have been a chicken after all....WTF did you get me out of bed for to trudge through a dark orchard then!! Men, sometimes I could seriously kill them, and off I stomped back to bed, still with no torch, and convinced that I was being followed by the axe murderer!!