High Vis Jackets

When you break down here in GC you have to grab your high vis jacket from your car, and stand outside. Presumably this is to ensure that the on coming traffic can see you clearly to hit you. The jackets are not fashionable, or attractive in the slightest, purely functional.

However, I am pleased to announce that in the name of safety or insanity, someone has come up with the idea of high vis jackets for chickens. Maybe people travel with them in their cars, and need the utterly crazy piece of clothing to protect the birds.

All I have to say is why??? why would you want a high vis jacket for your chicken, this has to be crazier than the wooly jumpers and hats. No hang on, it is as equally as crazy! Needless to say I will not be buying these for my chickens, regardless of whether they cross the road at night.

Nothing of Value!

I have a really bad habit of leaving my car unlocked everywhere I go, and before you get excited and plan to break in to it, you have no idea what car I have! also even if you do there is nothing of value in the car, in fact the car itself is worth about 1,50€ and a button!
So, when I was out  with a friend the other day I was amused that she got so stressed about the non locking the car event. As I pointed out if you were stupid enough to want my car, or brave enough to enter it, quite frankly they deserve the car.

When I explained I had nothing of value in the car, she stated I must have something in there. Silly woman didn't realise I have children, therefore, they have taken EVERYTHING of value, including my sanity. There is simply nothing left, and I certainly do not store it in the car.

What you will find in my car is dog leads, and bits of hay, a few broken pens, and some water bottles. There is always shopping bags, and usually a jumper or two, which again if you want to steal go for it! I know one mans junk is another mans treasure, but REALLY!

That Time of Year!

Every year at this time, i begin to threaten the chickens and suspect the neighbours. Why? because out of so many chickens we are getting on average five eggs a day! Which simply is not good enough, I have people moaning at me, cakes to make, scrambled egg to prepare, all with no eggs.

Now I refuse to buy supermarket eggs, so the few eggs we have become valuable. When I see the kids approaching them, I get really possessive, and tell them to step away slowly. This madness happens every year, but I don't recall it being this bad last year.

Maybe it is time for the chicken man to visit, to get the flock down to a smaller amount. Maybe they have just had enough of laying eggs, and prefer sunbathing and eating every day. Wow, wouldn't that be great if I didn't have to work, if sunbathing, and eating was all I had to do.

Hopefully egg production will pick up, or chicken pie all round in the next few weeks!

Six Eggs and a Walnut

I love Halloween, and it is one of my favourite times of year, however, as my children have grown the parties and fun seems to have stopped. Small Children love dressing up, eating far too much candy and putting their hands in goo. The last few years the kids have not even bothered with Halloween, but this year my son announced he was going to a party.

He reassured me with those words of "Don't worry, there isn't beer" Bearing in mind he is 12! I love Halloween but am not so keen on the whole trick or treat element only because I know what a group of kids can do within minutes. So, we agreed to him going to the party as long as NO tricks were performed.

Off he went, covered in food colouring, ripped tshirt, and zombie expression, although that could be considered his daily look. With stern warnings in his ears, about trick or treating, times to be home, and not ending up in a police car! a few hours later he returned, still with the zombie expression clutching a bag.

As he dumped himself on the bed, he looked sad, and I asked what was wrong, to which he replied "this was the WORST Halloween EVER".....I prompted for more information, and he reassured me it was ok, he didn't come home in a police car!

It seems that the local people were all out of candy, as he had been given six eggs and a walnut...alternative Halloween, or a cunning plan to guarantee the kids don'e return next year!

It is a Long Walk

Living where we do we need a car, its not a luxury it is a necessity. When the car breaks down, I always get this sinking feeling of, its a long walk to civilisation. I am not very lucky with cars, in the UK I had the same car for years, so I know it isnt me, maybe its the island!

The other day the car died, really died, and needed to be gruaed to the garage, unfortunately, the car decided to die on the same day as the phone signal. So, stuck in the middle of no where, with no car, no phone signal, and only the Internet to keep me sane.

We worked out there were pockets that allowed you to make a brief call, which would be fine if you didn't have to go through 35 different switch boards to get the right department. Even wandering down the middle of the road, which had worked previously, didn't give us a strong enough signal.

So, we kept trying, kept getting cut off, and eventually we got through and the grua was ordered, or was it. No body was sure, so we waited, and we waited, oh and we waited. The problem was the grua man couldn't call us to confirm, and we knew he would never find us.

After a long time, I decided we had to go and find the grua man, I knew he would be on the road somewhere. So, off we went, knowing that it is a long way back to civilisation, thankfully he was just down the road, sat next to a car similar to mine, on his phone.

As we approached we informed me that he had been trying to call me with no success. Join the queue was my response, finally my car was gruaed and on its way to the garage, where it never returned from RIP car! I have decided that donkey power, and carrier pigeons may be better for where I live!

Crazy Animals

Well they do say that animals are like their owners, and I am beginning to realise that is very true. A few people have called me crazy, now I do not take that as an insult, in fact crazy is good. I love my crazy world, and the people who choose to join me. However, the crazy animals are a step to far, as the ducks are now refusing to eat duck food and swapping for cat biscuits.

We feed a couple of our cats in the garage, as they are outside cats, and prefer to only pop back at meal times. So there is access to the garage for the cats at all times, but the ducks love it in there. They don't go in there because it is cool, dry, or safe, but to raid the cat biscuits.

They don't just take one or two but clear everything, including the odd biscuit that may have spilled onto the floor! Now I am no expert, but I am sure that ducks are not supposed to eat tuna, and salmon flavoured cat biscuits! When you google suitable duck food, number 5 is not cat biscuits.

We have even tried closing the door, this resulted in the ducks lining up outside similar to a school dinner line waiting for the cat biscuits. So, I don't care anymore if they are partial to some cat biscuits, maybe the rabbits would like the duck food!

Even the Experts get it Wrong!

The ducks that we got from the animal market have been growing and improving everyday. Their feathers are returning, and looking far better than the stumps we brought home. However, we have noticed that Mario is far bigger than Luigi and Princess peach, which can only mean one thing she is in fact a drake!

When I went to the "chicken man" for the ducks I had a long discussion about the fact that I wanted female ducks, only female ducks no oooppps drakes going in the box. Now, he assured me that they were all females, and even gave the guarantee that if they werent I could return the drakes for him to eat and he would replace them.

How can I justify returning Mario because he is male, knowing that by the end of the day he would be in someones pancake rolls. So, it seems we have yet another drake to strut around, puffing out his chest and claiming his part of Casa Chaos. Hmmm this is not what I needed, but hey what's another hormonal animal who has no purpose but to eat me out of house and home!

I was telling a friend about the lack of ability to tell the sex of a duck, and she said its simple...."pull their tail" How can pulling a ducks tail help at all I enquired, but it seems that if you pull on a ducks tail, they make different noises. I would have thought they all would have made the same "get off me you crazy person noise" but hey what do I know.

So, the next time I want ducks, I am going to stand there pulling their tails, this will either be successful, or have me sectioned once and for all!