How Not to Buy A Goat

Being crazy myself, I tend to have crazy friends, so when I get called to go and collect a goat with a friend, I have no option but to say yes. So, I find myself the other afternoon, hot, tired, and bouncing along an old Canarian goat trail in a friends jeep that has seen better days! We are following the goat man, who cannot drive, but has assured my friend that he has goats.

This goat farmer, she found whilst in the petrol station as she decided that she wanted a goat, and asked the guy filling her car up, and yes it is a perfectly normal question in our world. To her delight the guy was the crazy goat farmer, and is who we were following to our potential death. As the track got narrower, it also got steeper, and I did think that I was going to die.

We all jumped out of our vehicles, whilst the goat farmer rambled in some unknown language and set off at a fast pace. For a brief moment I looked around, and it was stunning, but my moment was removed with the sound of people shouting and waving for me to climb down the mountain. I thought I was crazy, but my friend has been promoted to insane!

As we made out way carefully down the side, the goat farmer attempted to sell my friend dogs, sheep and even a donkey. Thankfully she was strong, and had goats in mind, and just as I was about to moan and give up, I could hear goats. There was hope in my heart, but the goat farmer crossed the barranco and begun to hike back up the other side, I was not impressed.

Suddenly my friend announced that the guy we were following could in fact be a mass murderer and how on earth would anyone find our bodies! Thanks for that comforting thought as I begun to see if my phone could get signal out in the wilderness, don't be silly why would it possibly work! Why do I let myself get into these situations, up a mountain with a complete stranger trying to find goats!

Finally we reached the goats, and after much waving, negotiating and laughing business was done and we were handed a baby goat on a bit of rope. As quick as we handed the money over the guy had vanished, leaving us to get back tot he car with a goat. As we made our way back to the car, I kept thinking thank god we only bought one goat, and remind me to practice how to say NO in the future!