Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Monster Killer Bugs

Now, alongside the dark and failure I am slightly scared of bugs, not little bugs but big bugs that have the capability of killing you and disposing of the body. In Fact spiders are my weakness, and I cannot go near them, not even on the TV. Therefore, when I found a spider the size of a small child the other day there was only one thing for it, yes I stood and screamed.

Moving some stuff the other day I discovered that dust can penetrate everything and a rug that I wanted was filthy. As I went to pick up the rug, I noticed the creature, I cannot refer to it as a bug as it was huge, with giant legs, big eyes, and a menacing stare. So, I did what any 6ft grown woman would do, stood rooted to the spot hyperventilating and screaming.

Now when I say I am scared, I am scared, I have no logical reason for this fear, as often I can be heard saying to my kids don't be silly you are huge in comparison to that bug. Yet when it is me, and a giant spider is stood staring at me, I cannot do anything up scream. At this point hubby knows he needs to assist, and even the kids know there must be a spider in the vicinity.

So, everyone rushed in, and instead of quickly removing the bug as I hoped they would, they decided that a full blown conversation was needed regarding the size of the spider. No, I did not need to hear it was huge, No I did not need to wait for the camera to be grabbed, and No i did not want to wait whilst they debated what breed it was.

Finally the spider was debated, photographed and removed, and I could begin to breathe again like a normal human being. Just as I was returning to some form of sanity, I lifted the rug, and hubby muttered, "oh look is that another one" At this point I left the room, I didn't look back and I didn't wait to see if he was joking, I kept walking far, far away from the killer spiders.

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