Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Small things in Life!

Everytime I turn around there is a new leak, and I had begun to realise that we simply did not have enough buckets to cope. It wasn't because I didn't want to pay to have them fixed, it was because I couldn't find anyone who would a) drive up here as it is just sooooooo far and b) do the job properly. I typically stay away from brit builders as I have had far too many bad experiences with them, and also they are the first to say "I'm not driving up there it is so far"

However, Mrs N recommended a builder and if she liked him he must be good, I was also told he drank as much coffee as me in a day so he must be brilliant. The builder arrived for a "look" this is more than a lot of them have ever done, and he didn't get lost and was on time! As we wandered around looking at one leak after another, he asked to see the dogs. Another plus point, the guy liked dogs, it was going well.

Before he managed to leave I had found him 300 other jobs, and we had agreed a price and a day. Well Monday couldn't come quick enough, I was fed up of buckets, and leaks. The builder was great he fixed the leaks, and soon discovered that new ones appeared...welcome to my world.

After a long day where he wouldn't give up and was determined to fix every last leak for me, I noticed that I had a shiney new tap on one of the pipes. I turned, smiled and said in a really girly voice, "oh, thanks I love the shiny new tap" He looked amused and said " you are easily pleased" Yes I am it is the small things in life that make me happy.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

It is no Surprise Anymore!

Well my day started like any other, far too many things to do and not enough time. However, for once it was normal, boring things that needed doing. We were doing the routine, bank, post office, recycling shopping trip, which I hate at the best of times. The queues in Spain are a nightmare, and at this time of year they seem to go on for miles.

I had left the post office until last as this is the one I hate the most, however, on this day it suddenly got interesting. As we sat and watched the long line of people with the boxes of gifts to be sent to friends and family, I noticed one was moving. At this point I was interested what was in the box, my initial though was if you are posting a puppy, you had better put some bigger air holes in the box!!

Me being me had to ask, so off we went to randomly ask the man with the box what was in the box, and he casually answered with "A duck" Posting it anywhere nice was the next thing out of my mouth, which didn't seem to hit the humorous note it was intended. At this point he thought I was just stupid and not funny, and explained he was intending to simply let the duck go!

Well mouth engaged before brain, and the words " I will take the duck" fell out of my mouth. The next moments were a blur he smiled, handed me the box and I found myself sat in the car with yet another duck in a box! How do I manage it everytime I go somewhere, as we headed home hubby messaged and asked "did you get washing powder" I replied "nope but I have a duck" ....he didnt even ask why or where or how, a simple OK came back...... It seems that I do not shock people anymore, I must try harder!

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Sharing Food

Magic has never been very good about sharing food, however, we have a breakthrough as he allowed King Julian near his food this week. Now we are not sure if he intended to share, or he just couldn't see the small, sneaky goat under his nose. For at least 10 minutes there was a definite sharing thing going on, and I even had time to take photos.

In magic's defence shortly after the photo he did chase the goats away in a fierce, I will kill you motion. But we have small steps forward, he no longer wants to kill and bite everything within a 4 mile radius of his food. Maybe after another 5 years we can remove the approach with caution stickers!

Saturday, 6 December 2014

One Stop Treatment Shop

I am often at the vets, and joke that they should treat me for different ailments, as I am far too busy to go to the doctor. Therefore, why was I not surprised the other day when the vet did exactly that. I have been bitten by a cat, now this may not sound anything serious, however, it hurts like F**k.

Bites are common with what I do, and I can say I have been bitten by all animals, and cats are the worst, they simply do not let go. so when catching a cat the other day it latched on to my finger, and the next minute there was more blood than a murder scene. Although the teeth are small they bloody hurt!

One cat caught, my finger started to swell, and then go black, and then fill with puss, all a lovely sight for everyone. I kept looking at the finger thinking I must do something with it, but got caught up with a busy day, and headed off to the vets. Whilst at the vets my rather big mouthed daughter decided to tell the vet, hoping he would encourage me to go to the doctors.

Encouragement was not what happened, in a swift ninja maneuver, the vet had hold of my finger, in a vice like grip. For a small guy he is strong, as I soon discovered when I tried to wriggle free. He had hold of my throbbing finger, and was not letting go. As the needle appeared I knew the next few minutes would be make or break.

As the needle went in, and the squeezing began, I could only think of one thing.......I was going to kill my daughter. Finger all squeezed I was allowed it back, and through gritted teeth thanked the vet for his treatment, and then turned to my daughter and said " revenge is a dish best served cold!"

Friday, 28 November 2014

Wet Weekend!

We were placed on storm alert, and everyone panicked, however, this time it was for real, as the  rain came down I got wetter and wetter! I wasn't at home when the rain started, however, I got minute by minute updates from hubby. These were informing me what was leaking, and it soon became apparent more leaked than we could have ever imagined.

When you build something through the summer months, you are never sure of how good the joins will be, and although we needed it to rain to see where it leaked, maybe not as much rain was needed. The skies seemed to have simply opened a valve and let the whole contents out. The roads were flooded, the people were moaning, and the animals were wet!

Now rain is fine, we need rain, however, with rain comes mud, and mud brings mess, and this brings stress. The ducks loved the rain, the unicorn did not, as he stood and watched my every move with a look of complete disgust! The goats were wary to get their feet wet, and the chickens ran for cover. The dogs decided that they would become hippo's and basically buried and rolled.

Finally the rain stopped, and the sun came out, we begun to clean up....and then the rain started again. At this point it was decided to simply watch and wait, there was no point in getting even wetter. So I spent the weekend wet not moist, which some would say was a good result!

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Nature Can be Strange!

Sometimes nature can be a mysterious thing, and other times it can simply be a bitch!. Gloria the bionic goat unfortunately died last week. We don't think it had anything to do with the surgery, it was just "one of those things" I am beginning to hate that expression, why can we not have an answer, why are so many things left to "just one of those things"

Gloria was doing well, she was eating, up and seemed to be thriving with her bolt, until one night she simply did not wake up. Who knows why maybe nature just decided that all the money, care and love was simply not enough. What did nature want my first born child? my sanity? nope it just wanted my goat! So we are back to two, and they are running around causing havoc in a goat like manner.

I find myself yet again stating "oh well you cannot save them all" doesn't make it any easier or better though!

RIP little Gloria

Friday, 14 November 2014

Squashed Chicken!

Leading on from Magic being heavy handed with the goats, he has also managed to squash a chicken this week! I hold my head in my hands some days, especially when you walk past and see a completely flat chicken in his stable. Obviously the pullets that live with him decided that sleeping right behind the great lump was a good idea.

Magic must have rolled over and voile...pancake chicken. I can't really blame the unicorn, firstly it is his stable, his domain, and no one else is stupid enough to be in there. However, the pullets were born in there, and therefore, believe it is there home too. I think it may be time to put them with the big girls and boys, and let magic have some alone time where he cannot squash small creatures!

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Most Expensive Goat in History!

Yesterday started like any other, magic and the goats running around like nutters, until disaster struck. Magic tends to forget that he is a 400KG animal, therefore, a quick movement knocking the small 3KG goat over was going to hurt. Gloria was still, making small bleating noises, we knew he had done more than knock the wind out of her. As soon as I picked her up her leg fell, and I didn't need xrays to tell me it was broken.

At this point a million things go through your head, as I work with animals all day I knew this was going to be a costly accident. We rung our vet to get initial advise, we knew he only dealt with domestic animals, but hey he is a vet. We also made other calls and the answer was always the same.....put a bullet in her head, she is only a goat, and not worth the cost!

I agreed the cost was something that was concerning, however, Gloria is more than "just" a goat, she is part of our family. I decided to take her down to our vet, which caused huge interest sat in the waiting room with a goat in a transport box! You would think that it was an elephant the way people were starring...."come on people have you never seen a goat before"

So, much discussion happened, the vet determined that she had snapped her leg at the hip, there was no quick fix, there was no splint, all I was left with was operating...or death. Now thankfully Gloria is a teeny pygmy goat, which weighs just 3KG, enabling the vet to agree to operate. I flippantly asked how many goats he had operated on in the past...his answer "None"

We left Gloria in the safe hands of the vet, he operated for 4 hours, and bolted the leg, the operation was a success, and we left with a goat, instructions to watch her all night as her tongue kept getting stuck in her throat and a  huge vets bill. Mrs L messaged to ask how the goat was, and then proceeded to tell me I was insane, the goat wasn't worth that much.

Although, I agree on many levels Gloria is just a goat, why should that matter...I save animals. I choose to have them here, which means through better and worse we will save them even if it means we starve for a few months. Who needs food anyway! Also, we do now in fact have a bionic goat that is worth a fortune.

Monday, 3 November 2014

Making Money is Impossible

Many people do not know that alongside being the chief and captain of all things chaotic, I also work a full time job. So does my husband, and out oldest daughter, when people discover this they are shocked as they seem to think we are loaded. Now this poses the I work because I am insane, have huge bags of cash under the bed, but have a sick and twisted desire to be exhausted, or does this mean we are living hand to mouth. 

We look after peoples dogs, and also some of the animal charities keep their dogs here, which they pay for, but apart from the eggs there is no other income. Also, a huge proportion of the dogs that are here are up to me to pay for, as well as the feed for the unicorn, chickens, goats, ducks, small furries and cats. This means I think about money a lot! Not in a yippee I have so much of it, but more of a oh shit how am I supposed to pay for that.

Animal rescue is tough, there is no money or profit, so why do I do this, maybe because I am insane! There is never an end to the amount of money that animals cost. Rehoming them brings small donations, which means that the shortfall is left to me. This is when I tend to play ostrich and stick my head in the sand, and pretend that the ever growing vets bill is not there! 

I am asked so many times "why do you do this if there is no money in it" ........well let me think, these animals did not ask to be born, they did not ask to be abandoned and starved. Can I save them all nope, but I can save some! Although I think about money a lot, I do not worry about it, when you start to worry you get stressed. We work, we earn money, animals get saved, donations come is the circle of life. So, the next time you see me and I look tired, remember that is from working, juggling my life....and of course saving the world!

Friday, 31 October 2014

The Island NEVER Changes!

A year ago we made the tough decision to leave the home we loved due to public abuse, lies and betrayal from people who I thought were friends. A lot went on after the "leaf" incident, and to this day the woman who caused the most problems continues with her lies. Claims that we nailed nails into the trees to kill them, or refused to give any leaves away in a power hungry manner, are simply not true! I do wonder if you have so little in your life that you need to lie constantly.

I could of over the last 12 months joined in the gossip and lies, however, I am a believer in karma. For all those people that lied back then, and continue to do so now, I laugh at you!. I may live in a goat shed in the middle of a field, yet I am happy, and do not need to make other peoples lives a misery for fun. I simply sit back and watch you all destroy each other.

Karma is an excellent thing, and although I am no angel I do chuckle when you all have mis fortune, death, and illness, and I am happy, healthy and content. This island is incredibly small, and the people on it are even more small.....well in their minds at least! The biggest thing that makes me laugh is rumours, why do people always love gossip, hatred, and lies. They never see the good in people, or thank people, or ant anyone to be happy and successful.

So, for the people that hate me oh well, continue reading my blog, and my FB posts to see what I am writing. Yes this blog is aimed at you, and hopefully when karma bites you on the arse, you will remember the people that you hurt on your power hungry journey. I will on the other hand sit back and laugh and thank you for making me realise who my friends truly are, and why I am on this journey!

Sunday, 26 October 2014

An Extra Hour in Bed!

When the clocks move back, many people rejoice with shouts of yippeee an extra hour in bed, however, anyone with animals will tell you that is not the case. For me that extra hour is simply not worth the hassle, my morning will start like any other, with a mountain of cats leaping on me, and a dog nose in my face.

This morning I tried to stay in bed for that extra hour, however, nothing was going to allow me that privilege. I kept my eyes closely shut, I pretended that I was asleep even after a wet dog nose was thrust under the duvet. The eyes remaining closed seemed to work, the dog wandered off, but the cats were smarter, they seem to know that you are awake even without the eyes.

So, I am laying in bed eyes tightly shut, slowly breathing in a "I am asleep type way" and the cats circle the bed like sharks, waiting for the slightest movement. I think I have fooled them, and take a peek, there is only one cat left on the bed. I exhale quietly, and roll over onto my back. Just at the moment the cat takes the bladder leap.

If you have cats you will know exactly what I mean, they have an ability to jump on the perfect place on your bladder. This ensures that you have to go to the toilet within the next 5 minutes or you will be laying in a puddle. So, with a cat sat on my bladder a dogs nose in my ear, I decided it was far easier to simply get up. The extra hour in bed, turned into an extra hour to do stuff, welcome to winter!

Thursday, 23 October 2014

One Goat, A Monkey and an Incredibly Stupid Woman!

I got a call about a goat, now as you know I love goats, so when offered them for free I tend to forget my promise to hubby not to get anymore. So, daughter and I set off to find a man with a goat, and boy did we walk in to a crazier world than mine! Not only did he have goats, dogs, ducks, and horses, but he had a monkey!

Now at first I thought he was joking, but nope he had a monkey, as you do in your back yard with the goats. What makes me laugh is that he thought this was normal, and I am the queen of crazy, but honestly this was not normal. So there is us catching a goat, being watched by a monkey, and all the time I was thinking, there is someone crazier than me.

After much discussion about the monkey, we left with "king Julian" (you had to watch madagascar to understand) heading home we had to meet a lady that was donating some dog food, so as we sat outside the local supermarket with a goat in the boat, I could not believe that my day would get any weirder, but how stupid am I to think that for a second!

Dog food put in car, lady looked in boot, and said "oh look it is a goat"......."did you get that from the dog pound" at this point daughter and I looked at one another, looked back at the woman and simply got in the car! I did not even want to question why she would think that we had got a goat from the dog I drove, with King Julian wondering what life with a monkey would be like!

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Earless Bunnies

I have some fantastic friends, some that advise me, others that guide me and some that well, just make  me laugh. Miss H is one of  those friends, she is always there to bring a smile, and when she commented on a photo the other day I literally Laughed out Loud!

We were given Guinea pigs, not for any reason other than an unwanted gift, so I put a photo up of the pair, and Miss H who is a little bit of a stalker on FB was there in a second. Her first comment was "Are they bunnies? where have their ears gone????" Now I learnt a long time ago, the number of question marks increases when she is stressed, and the fact that she had used four meant she was in a panic.

She then messaged me, and asked who cut the bunnies ears off, now I would love to say that she was joking, but knowing Miss H she meant every word. At this point I realised that she had no idea they were Guinea Pigs! Which I then pointed out, whilst laughing incredibly loudly.  She honestly thought they were earless bunnies!

It seems Miss H had never seen a Guinea Pig, and had presumed that someone had taken a pair of scissors to an unexpecting bunny...why would you want bunny ears? So, thank you Miss H for brightening my day, making me laugh, and yes you are special but not in a window licking sunshine bus way! The moment I have a case of earless bunnies I will let you know.....and remember we all love you!

Sunday, 12 October 2014

10 Chickens and a Rooster!

My daughter has been referred to for many years as Jack....because like Jack and the beanstalk she goes out for one thing and returns with something completely different. I asked her to pick up some chickens the other day, 10 chickens! I thought this was self explanatory, 10 chickens, gave the precise money, and off she went, only to return with 10 chickens and a rooster!

How the hell did she manage that.....I have no idea, apparently she simply asked the chicken man for the rooster as she wanted another one! Errrr why was my first question...rooster do nada, oh apart from crow all day, and eat chicken food. So we now have 4 roosters who all hate one another, and argue over the few remaining chickens that we have!

At least if she is going to return with extra things can they be magic beans required!

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

That time of Year Again!

Molting time is a headache, the chickens have as many feathers as they have eggs, which is the grand sun of None! Although I have had chickens for a few years now, I always forget about molting until it is slapping me in the face. Therefore, I do not notice until there are no eggs, and the chickens look like they are ready to go in the oven.

This is also the time of year when it is considered the best time to "get rid" of the non laying chickens. Now this is where I stumble, due to the fact that I rescued many of these birds from the battery farm, how do I then go on to wring their necks. Well this year the process was removed from my hands, they just seemed to pop their clogs all by their selves.

Every day I have gone out and stepped over dead chickens as I have walked in to the chicken area, to the point it begun to worry me. I made a call to the chicken man and expressed my concerns, now he thinks I am crazy at the best of times, and questions everything I do. So the latest call made him laugh as usual, as he explained this was normal, nature playing its part and not allowing the weaker chickens to survive the harsh autumn molt.

So, not only do we have no feathers, no eggs, but at this rate we will have no bloody chickens either! I suppose as usual it is natures way of dealing with things...... and my task to clean up feathers for weeks and weeks before the new batch of chickens arrive.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

The End is in Sight

When we moved in to the goat shed in the middle of the field, me being me believed that it would be built and finished in weeks. As the weeks turned into months, I begun to realise that hubby was yet again right! Building your house, is a lot like peeling an onion, hurts all the way through, brings tears to your eyes, but the end result is satisfying.

We finally placed the last blocks, laid the last floor, and put the last piece of roof on the building, don't get me wrong it is far from finished, but the end in in sight. We will be water tight before winter, and I finally have somewhere to sit and watch TV. For many people this doesn't seem like a huge deal, but for us, the long build has been an achievement.

There are many things left to do, and a huge amount of tidying, painting and skimming, but we are one whole building, and this feels brilliant. So, sorry for the lack of blogging, exhaustion has taken over, and my desire to sit in front of my PC was limited. However, things are calming down now.....who am I kidding!!!!

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Monster Killer Bugs

Now, alongside the dark and failure I am slightly scared of bugs, not little bugs but big bugs that have the capability of killing you and disposing of the body. In Fact spiders are my weakness, and I cannot go near them, not even on the TV. Therefore, when I found a spider the size of a small child the other day there was only one thing for it, yes I stood and screamed.

Moving some stuff the other day I discovered that dust can penetrate everything and a rug that I wanted was filthy. As I went to pick up the rug, I noticed the creature, I cannot refer to it as a bug as it was huge, with giant legs, big eyes, and a menacing stare. So, I did what any 6ft grown woman would do, stood rooted to the spot hyperventilating and screaming.

Now when I say I am scared, I am scared, I have no logical reason for this fear, as often I can be heard saying to my kids don't be silly you are huge in comparison to that bug. Yet when it is me, and a giant spider is stood staring at me, I cannot do anything up scream. At this point hubby knows he needs to assist, and even the kids know there must be a spider in the vicinity.

So, everyone rushed in, and instead of quickly removing the bug as I hoped they would, they decided that a full blown conversation was needed regarding the size of the spider. No, I did not need to hear it was huge, No I did not need to wait for the camera to be grabbed, and No i did not want to wait whilst they debated what breed it was.

Finally the spider was debated, photographed and removed, and I could begin to breathe again like a normal human being. Just as I was returning to some form of sanity, I lifted the rug, and hubby muttered, "oh look is that another one" At this point I left the room, I didn't look back and I didn't wait to see if he was joking, I kept walking far, far away from the killer spiders.

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Magic has Friends

Magic is a large creature, therefore, you would think that any friends he made would also be large, however, he has decided that his new best friend will be a chicken. Yes, a small, stupid chicken has moved in to his stable. Now this was strange enough , but then she decided to hatch chicks, and moved those in there as well.

Now, Magic is not delicate, careful or considerate, however, he does not mind the chicks being in there, in fact he seems to enjoy the company. Although he is careful around the chicks, one was victim to his size, but other than that the other eight seem to be thriving. They come and go, sleep in his bedding, and generally spend most of their day running around his feet.

So, who needs expensive horses to keep your horse company, simply get one broody hen, and you have an instant playground full of friends!

Thursday, 4 September 2014


Whilst driving yesterday I saw something that made me stop the car in the middle of the high street. Yes you guessed it it was an animal, however, not one that I expected to be on a lead going across the road. My husband is always claiming I have the attention span of a gnat when I am in the car and get distracted easily.

However, in my defence yesterday, there was a ferret on a lead walking across the road! Now, I love ferrets, always have done and had them when I was a child, yeah weird I know my friends had hamsters, I had ferrets. This should have been a sign of things to come.

Anyway driving up the main high street, stopped at crossing and thee it was with an elderly lady casually walking on the lead. At this point I begun to hit my husbands leg, come on ladies we all do this when we want their full attention. "look, look, its a ferret" I screeched in a high pitch. 

At this point he calmly looked at me and said "NO, You are NOT getting a ferret" my reply was......"yeah, whatever, you said that about the goats!" This did not go down well......when will I learn to shut my mouth and sneak the animals in, not pre warn him they will arrive at some point in the future. 

So, off trundled the little ferret, who had obviously done this trip many times before, and I begun to plan how I would get a ferret in the property without my ever suffering husband knowing! 

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Why Does Everything Take so Long!

Operation duck pond begun.....not like any other that we have attempted before and it went on for days. I love my ducks and try to provide every element they need to flourish and survive. This includes a pond, yep a stinking pool of dirty water.

Emptying the pond is a dirty job, which is why my daughter and her BF did this task, well if you cannot abuse your power as a parent what is the point of having children. After it was emptied, it was decided that the tired lining needed replacing.

This is when in a flippant way I mentioned we could cement the pond, making it better for the ducks and far easier to maintain. Now the "we" I mentioned was in fact my daughters BF. Well if you want to date my daughter you will need to be my slave.

Now, although the BF is nice, he is sooooooooo slow, I am sure that snail speed is in Canarian blood. So a straightforward job took 14 hours one day, into the next morning, and than I was left to finish painting with the cat! After many hours, ducks watching with anticipation, and a cat with a red head with have a completed duck pond.

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Note to Self- Listen to the Weatherman!

In the Uk the weatherman is always wrong, in fact there have been many years of ridicule due to their ability to be so wrong. Maybe this is why I ignore Amnet every time they declare bad weather. Or maybe it is because I am in fact stupid and need to listen more.

Amnet (weather people) declared we were going to have strong winds, and rather than listen to their warnings I ignored them, which is why I have had no sleep. Strong winds is something that causes chaos here as everything needs to be tied down, and put away. This in itself is a major task as my children have an ability to drop and leave everywhere they go.

So, when I went to bed there was a mild wind, more of a breeze shall we say, therefore, nothing was put away. However, by 1am the missile launching through my office window indicated that maybe I should have listened. From 1am to 2am I had the distinctive sound of the flapping roofing sheet that bangs everytime there is wind.

From 2am to 3am I discovered that one of the windows rattles, and that my sons door creaks REALLY loudly when pushed by wind. From 3am to 4am the roofing sheet had reached the noisiest it had ever been. From 4am to 5am every object in the garden decided it wanted to travel down the garden and hit the office wall.

At 5am I gave up and got up...drank coffee and waited for it to be light. So, today will be an even longer day fuelled by no sleep, lots of coffee and plenty to clear up now the wind has died back down. Note to self...when the weatherman says it will be windy listen if you value your sleep!

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Oooops I did it Again!

I have decided that I have an issue with saying NO, I am like a fat kid in a cake shop, although I know it is wrong, it will cost me money and I will regret it I simply cannot walk away. Yes, you guessed it I have more animals!

When the words free and goats were presented to me in a sentence I felt I had no alternative to say yes please. Mrs N and I were having a casual conversation about goats one day, and I mentioned that ever suffering hubby had said no goats ever again. She remarked that was a shame as she knew of some baby ones that needed a home.

I considered what hubby had said, and typical of me ignored it completely, and asked her when I could collect them. Now my children knew also that we were not to have goats, yet they were there by my side as the goats were placed in the boot of my car.

Now I had three options when I got home, to confess all, make up a story about the goats being in the road, or hide them. Yep I went for the third option and hid them in the stables. This went well for a few hours, until hubby went to the stables. He returned and walked past me and said "there are two goats in the stables" with my answer being "Are there?" 

He carried on walking, I carried on painting, and no more was mentioned about the goats......I do have the best hubby ever! Magic has new friends, I have goats and all is well in the world! 

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Expect the Unexpected

I went to the donkey sanctuary yesterday, we try and get there a couple of times a year. It is a fun, relaxed place that does a brilliant job to educate children and adults about animals. The place has never changed over the years, but is well maintained and all the animals are cared for brilliantly.

Mrs K had never been to see the donkeys so off we went, kids in cars and after a small issue with crap directions...mine not hers we arrived. A pleasant morning was had by all even the sulky 13 year old who refused to ride a donkey. We sat drank coffee, and chatted whilst kids collected feathers, stroked donkeys and messaged boyfriends!

Now, I did have plans to borrow/steal/buy a donkey, but alas it seems donkeys are really expensive. On returning photos were uploaded, thanks to Mrs K and her fantastic photography skills, and everyone asked about my new donkey. I felt sad, I had let my public down, I had not returned home with a donkey in the boot of my car.

Amusing that everyone knows me, and presumed I would come home with a donkey, bought, borrowed or even stolen! Ahhh but I did return home with an extra child.......which was strange as I don't like children.....Bet you all didn't expect that!

Monday, 11 August 2014

Nature Really Does Know Best

In the past when we have had mums sat on eggs of any description we have got involved and faffed. This has resulted in disasters, and many things going wrong, which is why we now try and not get involved. Mario decided to sit on her eggs, which was exciting, but in the main duck house which was worrying!

In the past I would have moved her but as we were so busy I kept forgetting to, and then completely forgot she was on eggs at all. Until one day a child came running towards me, which is typically a sign of panic or hunger. Apparently the eggs that I had forgotten about had hatched!

I was impressed without any interference Mario is now the proud mum of 10 small cute water chickens! Yes, I said water chickens........Mrs L small son calls them that and I must say I love it, far better than being called a duck!

Thursday, 7 August 2014

We Need to get out more!

I have a busy life, and often only leave the house when I have a hundred things to do, and never stop to take time to appreciate the small things in life. I have however, decided that I do need to leave the house more, as I spent 15 minutes watching a bus getting stuck and finding it extremely amusing.

Driving home the other day with my son, we noticed that a bus was following us, which is strange. Not only for the fact that I live where very few human beings venture to, but also a bus is huge, and the roads are small. So, I did what any normal person would do I slowed down so that I did not lose sight of the bus!

As we drove through the narrow mountain roads, my son and I debated why the bus was there. Lost or stolen was our two conclusions, but still we watched the bus as it made its journey up into the mountains. Now one of the last turns on the way to my house is an incredibly sharp turn up a steep hill.

Even I have to stop and make the turn slowly, so we presumed the bus would carry on, and our entertainment would vanish. OH NO! as I continued up the steep hill the bus stopped and begun to make the turn. At this point insanity took over and I stopped the car.

As we both leaned out of the car to watch a bus getting stuck on a bend, which seemed perfectly normal to us, my son grabbed my phone and begun taking pictures of the bus. This all seemed normal as we laughed, and pointed, and kept saying it is not going to make that turn.

After 15 minutes it occurred to me that I was sat in the road watching a bus......and quickly drove off pretending to be normal. With my son bending over the seats to continue watching. My crazy gene certainly runs through that child as proven many times.

Sunday, 3 August 2014

Drive with my eyes closed!

A huge part of my life, and the direction that this new finca is going in is rescuing animals. This brings less money, less hours, less energy but a huge sense of achievement when I rehome an animal. Many come here to stay, but others pass through before finding their forever homes.

However, it has got to the point, I cannot go anywhere without returning with an animal. Driving hubby to work yesterday we stopped to do the recycling, and there sat up the mountain were three pups. So without a second thought off I went in mountain goat style to rescue these three little bundles.

As I reappeared, hubby muttered those fateful words " Can you not go anywhere without picking up animals" well no it seems I can't. So with pups on the back seat off we went.

Like many animals when they are abandoned they are in a bad condition. Pod, Pedro and paula as they have now been named were no different, and needless to say they had fleas, ticks, were starved, dehydrated but also had burnt pads due to the heat of the roads.

So, they are here waiting to get stronger before they can be rehomed. Although people keep telling me I have a huge heart....I unfortunately do not have a huge bank account. My vets bills are steadily growing, and my donations are limited.

Therefore, I am appealing to the masses and the generosity of my blog followers.
This is me on facebook Pet Pals GC

If everyone just donated 1 euro it would help these guys and the many more that need a chance! You can paypal....

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Living Abroad- Makes or Breaks You!

Many things change forever when you live abroad, and regardless of how much you think they won't these are inevitable. The first few years you seem to be on a rollercoaster of emotions, where you learn, develop and grow.

You evolve, feel homesick and begin to build a life, I have been on this rock for nearly nine years and oh how my life has changed! So, my top things that have changed since I lived abroad are:

My ability to hold a conversation in more than one language is amazing, I find myself saying random words, often in the wrong language at different times. Learning and understanding a new language can be tough, and often it is the basics and swear words that you learn first.

Learning to never get attached to people may seem harsh, however, far too many are simply passing through. I have learnt the ability to bond, but to also let go when necessary. Friends come and go, people who were important move on and build new lives.

Normality has been removed from my life, as the word "normal" is what society want us to conform to everyday. I have learnt there are other ways of doing things, which have now become why world. You learn a huge amount about yourself, and your character when you are thrown into difficult situations everyday.

Nostalgia brings you back to earth with a bump when you least expect it, and the overwhelming feeling of being homesick can be hard. It may be a song, a smell or even a food that transports you back to an old life. There are times when I want to return, even for a minute to share that feeling with people that I miss.

Change is something that you either embrace or it will destroy your dreams, everything changes when you move abroad. it shakes up your world, provides challenges and brings out your fears. I found tackling this head on, was the best way to get through!

With all that said, would I go back, nope never....I may miss the shoes, the shopping, the endless lunches with friends that I thought would be there forever. However, these are all a distant memory as we have built a new life, where I can honestly say I am far happier than I ever was in the UK.

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

One Crazy lady and a Unicorn!

Well the time had come, we had delayed it for long enough, the tack was bought, the crash mats in place.....yes the unicorn was being ridden. Nope not by me but a crazy friend. In my defense she rides far more often than me, and I trust her 100% to be the test pilot for my unicorn.

I had been saddling him, which he didn't seem to mind, the bridle on the other hand was a different matter. All the chocolate spread in the world was not going to make him happy about that bit in his mouth. Therefore, we decided that a bitless bridle may be the way forward.

Mrs L arrived with confidence, well she sat in her car for a while, but I discovered this was because she decided that getting changed in the road was a far better idea than coming inside. So, after the wardrobe change she was ready, and bonded with the unicorn immediately.

There was a slight feeling of nerves, but I was sure that he had been ridden, and that he is not a nasty horse. Mrs L agreed and with her expertise and love of horses the task of riding the unicorn was going to be a piece of cake. Magic was calm, in fact the calmest I have seen him.

All in all a successful day, no broken bones, no unhappy horse and many photos to mark the event. Thank you Mrs L for being my test pilot, and for the coffee and gossip!

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

A Friend for Every Ocassion

I have very few friends, however, they are play a huge part in my life, and I often chuckle that I have a friend for every occasion. These friends are all special to me, however, if I threw them in a room together they would have nothing in common.

Therefore, when I wanted to go and rescue more battery  chickens, I knew the friend to call. Some of my friends would not even consider the task of going to the battery factory, watching as they bundle far too many chickens into a box.
Yet this friend not only came, but she also stood up to the guys and insisted that there were less chickens in each box.

Miss N is fantastic, she is strong, capable, loving and understanding, she also takes no shit, listens to me moaning about fraggles, and is on my speed dial list for when I get arrested. Going to the battery factory is never nice, and although I may be tough, when I see helpless chickens being carried by their feet and dumped in boxes, even I take a short, sharp breath.

I always look at the bigger picture, and think that by saving these chickens we are giving them a better life, even if it is only for a few years. Battery farms are never going to stop, but if I can change the life of some of these chickens it makes me feel better.

So, with our chickens loaded off we went.........why o why is it always me that has the loose chickens in her car?

Tuesday, 8 July 2014


People always say that marriage, holidays and moving house are the most stressful, however, I beg to are the most stressful thing you can have in your life. I understand they have a job to do but why do they have to make so much mess!

Finally we have the money to lay our living room floor, now this may not seem like a big event to many, but live with a huge pile of rubble for 5 months,and you will understand why I did a little happy dance. My goat shed is on a slope, therefore, the final part is on a huge slope, which needed levelling.

I found a builder, a guy who understands how crazy I am, which is good and ensures that the working relationship is on a mutual level. In other words we spend the whole time taking the P**s out of each other. However, he is good at what he does, BUT he is so damn messy!

Not only do I have tools EVERYWHERE, but there are empty bags, buckets, and piles of gravel to contend with! My stress levels keep rising as I see the dogs playing in the gravel and spreading it across the garden.

Thankfully the cement pour for the floor is predicted to only take three days, which isn't too bad......who am I kidding OMG three days that is two days too long! So we are now onto day three, my patience has gone, my OCD has kicked in and I find myself tidying up after a builder.

In his defence I do have a living room floor....well nearly, which means that we can finally have somewhere to sit.....well after the walls are finished, the door goes in, the roof gets put on, the window goes in, the walls are skimmed and floor is tiled.........note to self, do not ever decide to build your own home again!

Saturday, 28 June 2014

One Brave Vet and a Bottle of Sedative!

The unicorn has issues with his teeth, usually we find them attached to something like an arm or part of a human. However, I did think he  may have bigger issues, so it was time to call the vet. As with everything vets are often chosen due to reputation, and thats how Ricardo entered our world.

The vet arrived and instantly I liked him, so he was allowed to come into the property. After a long chat about his history, experience, and whether he was married or not....well a girl has to know these things! He met the unicorn. magic instantly adored him, which was a good sign, and didn't try to bite him at all.

It was decided that his teeth needed rasping, obviously magic's and not the vets! and after a debate sedation was decided upon. Magic slowly drifted into a deep sleep, but still he wanted to show who was boss, and decided that he didn't want the hannibal lecter contraption in his mouth!

So, three people, lots of sedative, and a struggle later we were ready to start up the power tool! Rasping is really noisy, and all the time you have to hold the horses head up, holding its tongue, and getting extremely close to the vet! Well I had to assist, although holding the tongue was left to my daughter.

Once we had finished, we all retreated out of the stable, and left magic to wake up, oh boy and when he did he was pissed off. But his teeth had ben rasped, so one more thing off the tick list. is he still biting, hell yeah but he now has blunt teeth to bite with!