Sunday, 29 September 2013

Gofio- Love it or Hate it?

Some of my neighbours are lovely, and will turn up with the strangest of gifts, which we except with huge smiles. However, when the old lady turned up with Gofio, I just prayed with every ounce of my body that she did not want me to taste it there and then.

There are two distinct delicacies here in GC that every visitor needs to experience at least once. These are potatoes and Gofio, and in the case of Gofio, once is quite enough! Strangely Gofio is similar to Marmite, you either love or hate it, and never have mixed feelings.

Gofio is something that you can use in both sweet and savoury dishes, you can add it to coffee, stew, and make deserts that allow the spoon to stand upright. The Canarians eat Gofio with everything, they spoon it into their childrens milk, and use it as a bread substitute.

However, regardless of what you do with Gofio the end result is always the same, a disgusting thick sludge that sticks to the roof of your mouth, producing a foul after taste. This milled grain is versatile, and every Canarian has been force fed it from a young age.

This is why they do not understand why foreigners cannot stand the sight, smell or taste of Gofio. I have friends that have stated they would rather eat deep fried cockroaches than experience Gofio for a second time. However, the Canarians are so proud of Gofio that in 1990 they founded the Canary Island Gofio Products Association and have fiestas in the grains honor.

There are some Canarians that can see past the traditions, and will admit that Gofio is just wrong on so many levels. Once you place the thick sludge in your mouth, you can only remove the taste by desperate tongue movements. I personally think that Gofio has the consistency and taste of wallpaper paste!

So, if you see your neighbour, regardless of how lovely they are heading towards you with Gofio, run and lock the doors. This dish is best avoided by everyone, unless you love the taste of day old coagulated, salted, wallpaper paste with a strange after taste of condensed milk.

Wednesday, 25 September 2013


I have a strange sense of humor, and attempt to surround myself with people that have the same mentality, or at least get that I am slightly insane. My husband thankfully has the same sense of humor, which is how so many crazy things happen. This includes the chair up the pole, which if you have visited you would have seen.

There is no mystical reason why there is a chair up the pole, I simply told him to put it over in that direction, so he did. Unfortunately, he put it 10ft up the pole, why, because he could. The chair is always something that people ask about, which is amusing, as they expect some complicated reply and reason.

Now boys being boys you can never leave them alone for five minutes without them getting up so something. I popped out the other day leaving hubby and Mr C the builder alone. When I returned they were standing, beer in hand laughing, which unnerved me immediately.

As I got out of the car, I pondered what on earth the could have done, then saw it.....they had decided to put a chair up the tree. This was causing them such amusement, that as I walked past I casually said "Nice chair" and kept walking. They stopped laughing as they presumed I hadn't found it so funny, when the reality was I was fuming I hadn't thought of it first!

Monday, 23 September 2013

Duck Noises

People often think that duck's do not make noises as they tend to be far quieter than chickens. However, you will be surprised how noisy a duck can be, and if you are unsure of why, it can be daunting. As we have discovered different ducks will make different sounds, some of them amusing.

Now ducks and drakes make different noises, and some are a display of how clever they are, some noises are to show they are grateful and others are due to a strange situation. There is also the drake ego dance, which is similar to the Haka, which rugby players perform.

Drakes tend to be quieter and make a long drawn out "Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag, Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag, Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag". They make this noise if something threatens them like a speck of dust, or a leaf that may have moved. Drakes will also make this noise if they want some female attention, so mine tend to make it all day every day!

The ego boosting dance will begin with a huge amount of head bobbing, a bit like one of those car desk head bobbers. They also shuffle their feet like a penguin, and head towards the female ducks, strutting their stuff. Another sound we hear a lot is the "Qww-wee-wee" sound which is the ducks enjoying themselves, usually digging up something they shouldn't be!

The other day I was out, and hubby messaged sounding stressed which is unusual, it went like this:

Him: Are you going to be long?
Me: Nope why what have you killed?
Him: Nothing, but the ducks are making  a racket and I don't know why!
Me: They are probably laughing
Him: At what?...and ducks don't laugh!
Me:You, probably as you are standing there like an idiot watching the ducks make a noise!

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Franco Update....

Every day I have an update on Franco which is very sweet, I had many photos of the building of the bunny apartment which I must say is luxury! Franco is the only bunny I know that has pictures drawn on his apartment wall, and his very own bunny light.

Yes, I did say bunny seems that Franco needs his own special night light, and what better style than in the shape of a bunny. Now I questioned this fact when I was told, however, the photos soon followed, and yes the light is in fact a bunny.

This is why I have crazy friends, as they are not only amazing, but they brighten my day...and Franco's so it seems! 

Before, you ask, yes that is a hand drawn poster of Peppa Pig in the back ground, ok, you may not ask or care, but I did! I am so glad that Franco is so spoilt and happy, as happy bunnies make happy children, which make happy mums!

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Crazy Friends

Along this journey that we call life I have met some amazing people, and I am blessed to be able to call them my friends. I do not have that many friends and although I  could host a party for hundreds of people very few would be my friends. The thing that makes every single one of them unique, is the level of crazy.

I think if you are crazy , you attract crazy people, and I do not see this as a bad thing. It means that your friends truly understand you, and want to be around you for the right reasons. They do not question you when you want to do something mad, and are there to support you at every stage.

So, this is just a quick blog to say thank you to the crazies that are in my life, for being you and making me smile! Every one of you is unique, and special in your own way. Whether you put bunny lights in with your rabbit for company, send me pictures of you with frozen veg on your head every time you have a headache. Write PIMPLE instead of PMSL in text messages or sniff mangos for pleasure I love the fact that you are all in my life.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Child's Logic!

Alongside my mechanic I also love my builder/handyman/friend/ Mr C who loves to come to Casa Chaos to drink my beer, mend numerous things, and generally wind me up! Now, Mr C has an amazing wife Mrs V and three fab children, Master C, Master JL and little Miss S. 

I don't typically like children running around, but these three are funny, when they aren't filling my fountains up with mud, or throwing cat biscuits in water bowls...So, when Little master C was starring lovingly at the baby bunnies one day, I of course offered them one. 

The white, fluffy bundle of bunny was chosen, and every time they came to visit, Master C would run over to admire his new pet. The day finally arrived for them to take their new family member home, and Master C came bounding up the drive in excitement of taking bunny home. 

When he reached the cage, I asked what he was going to call his new bunny, and proudly he declared Franco! This of course made me chuckle, and I checked that he did mean Franco....and yes Master C was adamant, Franco was his new bunny. 

Now in any other country this may not have been so amusing, however, naming a baby bunny after a ruthless Spanish Prime Minister, proved that either Master C was highly intelligent, and had an amazing knowledge of Spanish history or he in fact meant to call it Blanco.....hmmmmmm

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

No, I Cannot Just Find Some More Fruit

I do worry about people on this island, and haw uneducated they are as yet again stupidity reigns! One of my avocado trees was ready last week with monster avocados, which meant I could sell them. So, I posted that we had them, response was brilliant, orders came in, I was delighted.

Off we went to pick them, and although I had a bounty of avocados, not enough to fulfill al the orders. Therefore, some people missed out, but when the next tress are ready, I will of course ensure that they are top of the list. This seemed fair, some people were fine about it. However, you always get one or two that do not understand I am not the Spar!

I messaged a lady explaining, only one tree was ready, and that she would need to wait. Her answer was..."Well thats not good enough, can you not go and find some more?" I did enquire where she would like me to "just find some more" and explained that I have trees, they have fruit, when it is there, I have fruit, when it is not I don't.

Even my kids get this concept, but no not this fraggle, she was insistent that I had more, therefore, she wanted them. After a short heated conversation, I advised that she may be better shopping in the local Spar from now on, where they can restock the shelves the minute, they are empty. I however, have to wait for nature to decide when she wants to replenish stocks!

Monday, 9 September 2013

I Never Claimed to be Any Good!

I was told the other day that I am in fact rather crap at his farming life, which made me chuckle. I never claimed to be any good, which is always a fantastic starting point. However, it seems that if you live where I do, you must be the worlds greatest farmer.

It often surprises people that I grow so many fruits, yet eat so few of them, but I didn't move to Casa Chaos for the fruit. I moved here for a million other reasons, including the challenge. I think this is where many people just do not get what I am doing, and why I am here.

Did I ever want to own a Mango farm, hell no, but it came with the house, and I make the best I can with what I was given. Apparently, that is the wrong attitude to have, and I should embrace the sickly smell of mango's and fight with other people for the business.

Unlike many other farmers in the area, I do not rely on the income from the fruit, and as long as it makes me a bit, I can give some fruit to the food project, and the chickens have a summer of delicious treats I am happy. But it seems this is considered wrong, and that I am crap at being a farmer! So, there you go, I am rubbish, do I care nope!

Saturday, 7 September 2013

Home Inspection!

I often get calls and messages asking to take random animals, which is fine I have the choice to say No, unfortunately, the brain says no and the mouth heads straight for a yes! The other day whilst driving home, a friend messaged and asked " Want a duck?" thankfully I did read it right, as the immediate response was " go on then"

So, it seems that a friend of a friend had decided to buy a duckling, cute, fluffy little duckling, that was now a monster duck living in her shower, and s**ting everywhere! I agreed to take the duck, and was given the duck ladies number to call and discuss duck arrangements.

After a long conversation where I had to explain where we lived that they live outside, yes we have a pond, no we don't eat the ducks blah blah blah, by the end I felt like saying to her, "For god's sake, anything would be better than your shower your crazy lady" but I didn't (how good am I)

The final sentence was the nail in the coffin for taking the duck, when she stated that she would need to carry out  an inspection. Not even popping by for a chat, dropping off the duck, giving all the excuses why she had the duck. But a full inspection of land, pond, duck house and other ducks, to see if we were suitable to rehome her duck.

As you can imagine I told her to duck off, and go and find someone else to rehome her duck, what is up with these people!

Thursday, 5 September 2013


Today like every other day I will be mostly picking Mangos, swearing a lot and wishing for winter to repeat after me...pick the mangos, box the mangos, deliver the mangos...and repeat!

Normal blog service will be resumed when the mango hell is over!

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

My Melons are a Hit!

I often read with envy all the time, effort and money that is spent by other chicken farmers on treats for their chickens. I wonder if they do this because a) they have far less chickens than me b) they have far more money than me or c) they have far more time on their hands than me!

I do try and give the chickens lettuce as often as I can mainly for my own entertainment. However, I have begun to give them melon, which they do love, and at the moment it is inexpensive. So, yesterday armed with the melon, a board, knife, and bucket, I begun to chop the melon into bite sized pieces.

As usual I can NEVER be left alone to do anything on my own, and Midget decided to watch

And then taste.....

Then invite Cleo along to help.....

Finally the chickens got their melon...

Monday, 2 September 2013

Mango Chutney

There seems to be far more mango's this year, or I am just not keeping on top of the picking, boxing, delivering process, either way everyone is sick of them, including the chickens. They have this look of please no more sickly, smelly mangos...oh no that is me!

Mango's are brilliant for making different things, including a mess, however, they are the core ingredient for mango chutney. I attempt to have the time to make this delicious chutney, and when it is finished it is eaten with enthusiasm. However, like everything here in Casa Chaos it is having the time.

As the lemons are now fast approaching ripeness, the reality that if I do not get the chutneys made, lemon curd season will be upon me, and that is whole new nightmare. So, new jars bought, mangos ripe, I am off to spend the next two days making chutneys!