Part of what I do in a day is related to animal rescue, so I often get calls to collect animals to help them find their forever homes. Typically this is dogs and cats, however, the other day it was a parrot.
Now, I don't like birds, and I don't like parrots, but it is what I do, so I faced the problem head on. I stood staring at the parrot for ages wondering how to get this massive cage and bird in my midget car. Then it began to speak, at first we had pleasant "Holas" but rapidly it turned to swearing.
Oh my god the parrot swore more than me, and that is saying something, I had a constant babble of " madre puta" and "joder" although this was amazing, it was loud! So, I drove the parrot home, being screamed at all the way, and settled it for the night. Well in fact I threw a cover over it and left it alone.
The next day the parrot had to go to its new home, so off we went again, but this time it was in the car under a cover. Everything was going well, the parrot was quiet, the sun was shining, and then the Guardia stepped out in front of me.
No cause for concern, I had all my paperwork, I handed it over, smiled sweetly, and then he looked at the huge square covered shape in the back. He asked what it was, a parrot I replied, he then asked to see it. This is when my heart sank, I knew exactly what the bloody feathered creature was capable of saying.
As I removed the cover the parrot said Hola, the Guardia replied with a Hola, amused by the parrot, and just at that point it let rip. I had no where to run or hide as the parrot called the Guardia many names, some I could not simply repeat.
He turned to me, as I mumbled its not mine, its a friends, and I am sooooooooo sorry, thankfully a smile broke out on his face, and he called his companion over! Ten minutes of parrot abuse later, and I was allowed to continue my journey, Why o why are children and animals allowed to get away with so much more than adults!