Not the Happy Face!

I needed more chickens so I headed onto Segundamando (spanish secondhand site) in search of cheap, laying chickens. Thankfully the Spanish are feeling the pinch, and are selling many animals cheaper than normal. Very quickly I found some chickens close to me, and begun negotiating.

After three days and many frustrating conversations, the lady agreed to get boxes (at one point she thought it would be ok to let them loose in my car! errr not happening) we arranged a meeting place and off we went. Well my frustrations begun from the drive onwards.

Her "finca" was miles away from where she said it was, and it had begun to rain, this never improves my mood. Finally we reached our wet destination, and she grabbed her boxes. Then she lead us down a slope, past some caves, down a slippery slope further, and onto the edge of a mountain, where there were piles and piles of rubbish, metalwork and not a lot else.

As I stood there wondering where her "finca" was she explained we were stood on it, errr nope love this is the side of a mountain!! Then she pointed to one of the piles of rubbish and told us that is where the chickens are. At this point I just wanted to get out of there.

Surely no one can keep animals in these conditions, but oh yes she did, and what made it worse was when she proudly told us that her Dad lived in the cave next door. As we climbed down and through the debris, things didn't get any better, and I had my very pissed of face! Not only were these chickens living in the worse conditions I have ever seen, but it was chucking it down.

With no roof to protect us, some very soggy cardboard boxes, and chickens that were terrified this was no happy place to be. After an hour of the filth, stench and soaking conditions I gave up. We had managed to catch 14 chickens, I could take no more and got out of there incredibly fast.

I am not sure what shocked me more, the fact that she thought these conditions were normal for animals, or the fact that she was proud that her Dad lived in a cave, with no protection from the harsh weather, and filth that surrounded him. I am constantly told, "but the canarians live differently" OH COME ON! this takes it to another level!!! I left with my chickens, soaking wet, pissed off but knowing I had changed the lives of these 14 birds!

Late This Year

We have waited and waited and waited and waited, but no rain has arrived, however, you can guarantee that the moment I need to do stuff the sky opens, and it pours. I need to sort out the huge piles of nothing that are accumulating, and this involves lifting and shifting. Both of these activities, I do not want to do in the rain.

So, I sat and watched the rain, and I waited for it to stop but it didn't, the dogs got muddy, the cats were unimpressed, but it kept coming. We had our Internet technician here to fix a problem, and I chuckled as he had to climb up the mountain in the rain, oh revenge is sweet! (long story, but he deserved it)

It rained all day, and as I melt in the rain, in a very similar way to the witch off Wizard of Oz, I remained indoors. Jobs were put off and I drank coffee, so not an entirely wasted day! The barranco has not yet flooded, but if the rain continues today it is likely to!

Although we need the rain, and it is refreshing to see, I am deep in thought about the huge numbers of people that are currently living in tents and caves around the area. The crisis continues, and people are struggling to meet the demands of their bills. This leading to them losing their homes, and taking cover wherever they can.

So enough rain now, you can stop thanks, and let everything dry up, and allow me to move the stuff I need to thanks!

High Vis Jackets

When you break down here in GC you have to grab your high vis jacket from your car, and stand outside. Presumably this is to ensure that the on coming traffic can see you clearly to hit you. The jackets are not fashionable, or attractive in the slightest, purely functional.

However, I am pleased to announce that in the name of safety or insanity, someone has come up with the idea of high vis jackets for chickens. Maybe people travel with them in their cars, and need the utterly crazy piece of clothing to protect the birds.

All I have to say is why??? why would you want a high vis jacket for your chicken, this has to be crazier than the wooly jumpers and hats. No hang on, it is as equally as crazy! Needless to say I will not be buying these for my chickens, regardless of whether they cross the road at night.

Nothing of Value!

I have a really bad habit of leaving my car unlocked everywhere I go, and before you get excited and plan to break in to it, you have no idea what car I have! also even if you do there is nothing of value in the car, in fact the car itself is worth about 1,50€ and a button!
So, when I was out  with a friend the other day I was amused that she got so stressed about the non locking the car event. As I pointed out if you were stupid enough to want my car, or brave enough to enter it, quite frankly they deserve the car.

When I explained I had nothing of value in the car, she stated I must have something in there. Silly woman didn't realise I have children, therefore, they have taken EVERYTHING of value, including my sanity. There is simply nothing left, and I certainly do not store it in the car.

What you will find in my car is dog leads, and bits of hay, a few broken pens, and some water bottles. There is always shopping bags, and usually a jumper or two, which again if you want to steal go for it! I know one mans junk is another mans treasure, but REALLY!

That Time of Year!

Every year at this time, i begin to threaten the chickens and suspect the neighbours. Why? because out of so many chickens we are getting on average five eggs a day! Which simply is not good enough, I have people moaning at me, cakes to make, scrambled egg to prepare, all with no eggs.

Now I refuse to buy supermarket eggs, so the few eggs we have become valuable. When I see the kids approaching them, I get really possessive, and tell them to step away slowly. This madness happens every year, but I don't recall it being this bad last year.

Maybe it is time for the chicken man to visit, to get the flock down to a smaller amount. Maybe they have just had enough of laying eggs, and prefer sunbathing and eating every day. Wow, wouldn't that be great if I didn't have to work, if sunbathing, and eating was all I had to do.

Hopefully egg production will pick up, or chicken pie all round in the next few weeks!

Six Eggs and a Walnut

I love Halloween, and it is one of my favourite times of year, however, as my children have grown the parties and fun seems to have stopped. Small Children love dressing up, eating far too much candy and putting their hands in goo. The last few years the kids have not even bothered with Halloween, but this year my son announced he was going to a party.

He reassured me with those words of "Don't worry, there isn't beer" Bearing in mind he is 12! I love Halloween but am not so keen on the whole trick or treat element only because I know what a group of kids can do within minutes. So, we agreed to him going to the party as long as NO tricks were performed.

Off he went, covered in food colouring, ripped tshirt, and zombie expression, although that could be considered his daily look. With stern warnings in his ears, about trick or treating, times to be home, and not ending up in a police car! a few hours later he returned, still with the zombie expression clutching a bag.

As he dumped himself on the bed, he looked sad, and I asked what was wrong, to which he replied "this was the WORST Halloween EVER".....I prompted for more information, and he reassured me it was ok, he didn't come home in a police car!

It seems that the local people were all out of candy, as he had been given six eggs and a walnut...alternative Halloween, or a cunning plan to guarantee the kids don'e return next year!

It is a Long Walk

Living where we do we need a car, its not a luxury it is a necessity. When the car breaks down, I always get this sinking feeling of, its a long walk to civilisation. I am not very lucky with cars, in the UK I had the same car for years, so I know it isnt me, maybe its the island!

The other day the car died, really died, and needed to be gruaed to the garage, unfortunately, the car decided to die on the same day as the phone signal. So, stuck in the middle of no where, with no car, no phone signal, and only the Internet to keep me sane.

We worked out there were pockets that allowed you to make a brief call, which would be fine if you didn't have to go through 35 different switch boards to get the right department. Even wandering down the middle of the road, which had worked previously, didn't give us a strong enough signal.

So, we kept trying, kept getting cut off, and eventually we got through and the grua was ordered, or was it. No body was sure, so we waited, and we waited, oh and we waited. The problem was the grua man couldn't call us to confirm, and we knew he would never find us.

After a long time, I decided we had to go and find the grua man, I knew he would be on the road somewhere. So, off we went, knowing that it is a long way back to civilisation, thankfully he was just down the road, sat next to a car similar to mine, on his phone.

As we approached we informed me that he had been trying to call me with no success. Join the queue was my response, finally my car was gruaed and on its way to the garage, where it never returned from RIP car! I have decided that donkey power, and carrier pigeons may be better for where I live!