Miss ThunderPussy

Miss ThunderPussy has arrived and there is a buzz of excitement around the finca, you may be wondering who she is, and for those not on Facebook, she is of course our new female rabbit. We have been asked many times about bunny farming, and it was never something that I had considered until a Spanish man gave me the breakdown of potential earnings. Don't get me wrong it isn't all about the money, however, it does help pay the bills.

We have three very randy rabbits, therefore, Miss TP was never going to be lacking male attention. I did research rabbit farming before we got Miss TP, and was surprised at many of the things I discovered. Firstly I didn't know that rabbits are awful mothers who will eat their young, like something out of a horror movie. Also if they do not like their male companion, they will rip their crown jewels off with their teeth. This I can relate to and can think of several men that deserve this, just not using my teeth.

You may be wondering about the name, this has nothing to do with me, although I do happen to like the name. Mr E was given the privilege of being able to name the new rabbit, and after much debate, well actually no he got very excited, shouted GLORIA and then diverted to Miss ThunderPussy. I didn't ask his methods of choosing names, however, I do hope he spends more time on his children's names in the future.

So, Miss TP is home, and in her new sexual boudoir, however, Hoppity is not overly sure of what she is, or why she is there. There is a lot of movement, but I think that is where he is running for his life, and trying to get away from her, I might have to Google later and see the courtship rituals of bunnies, but for now she is thumping her feet on the floor looking dominating, and he looks terrified...reminds me of a few relationships I know!

Pig wrestling part II

Pig wrestling as you all remember is an activity that occurs often, usually with a lot of stress, shouting, swearing and complete frustration. Peppa is secretly related to Houdini, and has the ability to escape every defence we build, therefore, she is often seen belting round the orchard. You can guarantee that this happens when I really do not have the time to be chasing a pig..

Yesterday was a disaster in the pig rearing world, Peppa spent the day escaping, and just as we were attempting to go off to do important things, she decided that would be the ideal time to break out. At this point I had flip flops and white jeans which was not a good thing to be in the orchard wearing, and by the end of the session I was filthy.

After much screaming, shouting, and pure frustration, the back up crew arrived in the form of Mrs C and Mr E. Mrs C made me feel overdressed in the orchard and won the award for most inappropriate outfit for pig wrestling in a bikini and white dress. However, she was in the orchard where as Mr E offered support from behind the safety of the fence.

I knew I had to leave and stomped out of the orchard admitting defeat, however, Mr B was on hand to perform the best bit of pig wresting I have seen. My son has no experience of pigs, however, his impressive war cry that he performed scared the s**t out of Peppa and she ran so fast that her fat dumpy legs could take no more, and she went back in her pen to get away from the manic man chasing and screaming at her.

With one pig captured we all felt relief, and as we turned Mr E had walked into the orchard unaided and without safety harness, helmet and protective suit. One small step for man, one giant leap for the house guest scared of every animal on the planet.

Farmers helpers...

As you know my son arrived on Monday which is fantastic, however, he brought two friends with him which means we have two other unexpected helpers here. We have always had a policy of everyone helping out, regardless of who you are, as I do not have the time or manners to run round after anyone. Don't get me wrong I am a fantastic host for the first hour, then after that it is fend for yourself or die, as I simply do not have the time.

These friends, are also friends of mine, and one, Mrs C has been here before, so understands the chaos, noise, mud and level of insanity that you have to possess to visit. Although she lives in a town in the UK, she has no issues with being near the animals, holding chicks, or stroking goats when needed. Mrs C is an incredible friend, and shaping up to be a brilliant unexpected farmers helper...

However, Mr E who is new here is struggling slightly with the noise, chaos and anything that moves. I was warned that he was not good with bugs, roaches, lizards, chickens, well basically anything other than a domestic cat or dog! This was always going to be a challenge, however, I love challenges, and thought I would meet it head on and break the fear...

Slowly, slowly he is getting closer to the animals, and in all fairness on the first night he did experience cockroaches, and was brave enough to squash (alcohol fuelled I would like to add) Yesterday he stood and watched the chickens through the metal fence, which is a step towards being in there. Mr E does have his uses though as he makes a nice cup of coffee, which is vital in this house.

Mr E also likes food, and is a big eater, which again is vital in this house, as I cook for an army, and like to see people that appreciate the gigantic meals placed in front of them..lets just say that there will be no weight loss until he starts running round after the animals.

Monkey business

Don't worry I havnt lost the plot and bought a monkey, although that would be quite amusing and would guarantee the status of casa chaos was truly justified. However, I did visit some friends the other day and returned with a banana tree, which is amusing as I am allergic to bananas. Thankfully I know of this allergy, and have never eaten bananas, and I can touch them without turning into the elephant man.

Therefore, anyone gifting  a banana tree may seem an odd choice of gift, however, I think it is fantastic. Banana's are grown here in there thousands, and you can see the banana plantations in several different locations around the island. I may not like banana's, but my children and husband do, and there are plenty of banana recipes available.

So, as we left with the banana tree bundled into the car, I was pleased with my gift, and proudly returned home to show off the latest item. My husband has begun to puzzle how I have the ability to visit friends, and return with the strangest of things. As I got out of the car, and said grab a shovel he did wonder if I had finally killed the nosey neighbour and wanted to bury the body.

My banana tree is planted, away from the chickens, rabbits and psycho pig, nestled in a corner with the ducks, who better leave it alone or they will be ending up in orange sauce. I have no idea how to care for the tree, how long it will take to have bananas growing, or how to pick and store them, but its all fun, and that is what they invented Google for!

Excitement building....

There is a definite excitement around here today, everything is up early, and ready to be cleaned, polished, and be on their best behaviour. Why, you may ask, well its because one of our older sons is arriving today! We have not seen him for over a year, which is far too long, and everyone misses him a huge amount.

People often ask me what I miss about the UK, and if there is anything I would go back for, and this answer is simple...I miss my son! You will never understand the feeling when you walk away from your child, and although he was 18 when we left, it made it no easier. Our son is amazing, and I know all parents say that about their child, but he truly is, and we miss not having him in our lives on a daily basis.

This will be the first time that he has been to casa chaos, and I know that he will fit in perfectly, as when our son comes home, it is like a missing piece to a jigsaw puzzle being returned. When we are all together, it feels complete, and as every family should be every day. So much happens over 12 months, and although we keep in constant contact, there are still gaps.

The blog will probably involve our son over the next few days, as he will feature heavily in the day to day chaos that makes our world go round, and remember if you have children cherish them, never let them out of your sight and stalk them everyday. They may may think you are weird, but they will also know that you care!!

Operation Parsnips....

Parsnips are one of those foods that you either love or hate, however, people tend to only go crazy for them at Christmas time. Alongside the dry turkey that  no one enjoys, parsnips are dumped on the plates and scrapped into the bin afterwards. This delicious vegetable is considered rare here, and the fraggles go mad when there is a wiff of parsnips anywhere on the island. They are attracted to parsnips like cats to catnip!

The parsnip is related to the carrot, which they grow and eat in huge quantities here, so why not this delicious vegetable. I am a fan of parsnips and will eat them all year round, so when I discover them here, I tell no one, and sneak back and forth to the veg shop until they are all gone. My desire for parsnips has grown, and I need them al year, so why not grow them I thought.

After contacting some friends in the UK operation parsnip has begun, I received the seeds by pigeon post, and admired them when they arrived. Gently turning the packets in my hands like a kid at Christmas with their favourite toy. Sad I know but I don't have much human contact, therefore, parsnips are exciting..

well the parsnips are in the ground, in a secret location guarded by armed guards at all times, to ensure that we have to veg thieves in the night...and now we wait. I don't usually like Christmas at all, but with the excitement of parsnips, I might just get into the whole Christmas spirit this year...

Finally she is hatching...

Vicious Muma has already had one batch of chicks this year, but she is a very determined chicken, and even after her wings were clipped, she climbed and fell onto the other side of the fence, so that she could sit on her eggs. In typical feral chicken style this stupid chicken decided to lay her batch of eggs in the furrow. When the furrow man turned up the other day to maintain the system, we enquired when they were letting the water go, and he said any day.

This meant that it was a race against time, regarding how quickly she would hatch, and the water being released, and washing all her hard work away. What feels like an eternity, and thankfully delays on the water system, she has begun to hatch....However, as with everything here, she seems to have only hatched one egg. This is really unusual as the last batch she had there were 16 chicks, however, we have one!

I have decided to leave her a few more days, however, with the ever impending threat of the water, she will need to be moved as soon as we can. This will be a challenge in itself as she isn't called vicious muma for nothing. She is the chicken that guards her babies with her life, and that you need the magic rake to enter the maternity wing when she is in there. I have never seen a chicken karate chop the air before, however, vicious muma manages it will style....