Thursday, 13 September 2012

Pig wrestling part II

Pig wrestling as you all remember is an activity that occurs often, usually with a lot of stress, shouting, swearing and complete frustration. Peppa is secretly related to Houdini, and has the ability to escape every defence we build, therefore, she is often seen belting round the orchard. You can guarantee that this happens when I really do not have the time to be chasing a pig..

Yesterday was a disaster in the pig rearing world, Peppa spent the day escaping, and just as we were attempting to go off to do important things, she decided that would be the ideal time to break out. At this point I had flip flops and white jeans which was not a good thing to be in the orchard wearing, and by the end of the session I was filthy.

After much screaming, shouting, and pure frustration, the back up crew arrived in the form of Mrs C and Mr E. Mrs C made me feel overdressed in the orchard and won the award for most inappropriate outfit for pig wrestling in a bikini and white dress. However, she was in the orchard where as Mr E offered support from behind the safety of the fence.

I knew I had to leave and stomped out of the orchard admitting defeat, however, Mr B was on hand to perform the best bit of pig wresting I have seen. My son has no experience of pigs, however, his impressive war cry that he performed scared the s**t out of Peppa and she ran so fast that her fat dumpy legs could take no more, and she went back in her pen to get away from the manic man chasing and screaming at her.

With one pig captured we all felt relief, and as we turned Mr E had walked into the orchard unaided and without safety harness, helmet and protective suit. One small step for man, one giant leap for the house guest scared of every animal on the planet.

No comments:

Post a Comment