One of my ever helpful following asked the other day why I did not know the exact date that she was going to give birth, well this is because Jack is hornier than a pubescent boy, and I have no idea on what date conception actually occurred. Bad goat keeping I know, but come on I never claimed to be a goat farmer!
Strict breeding regimes may suit some people but here in Casa Chaos that would seem strange, actually it would be lovely, but hey too late now. So in anticipation of the big event, as I have already got it wrong once, I asked a local goat farmer some of the common signs that Jill is giving birth. With which his reply was I will see a baby appearing from her!
These Spanish are well prepared aren't they, so off to Google I went and found some very interesting tips, mixed in with some strange, and some just not happening ones. Some I can cope with but when it comes to sticking any part of me inside Jills lady canal (as my friend L calls it ) it just isnt happening. Some of the tips include:
- Pacing, digging making a mess......errr hello have you never met my goats this happens every day
- White vaginal discharge that smells...errr wouldnt this involve me sniffing it, not happening
- Appears restless and stressed.....again everyone appears to be this in Casa Chaos
- Eyes appear glazed and stares into the distance...oh come on who knows what the hell Jill is staring at
- Urinates frequently...well again goats seem to do that all day anyway
- Udder begins to fill, teats feel waxy and smell.....err not sniffing her teats either
- Lala is flabby and puffy on inspection...why would any sane person want to inspect a goats lala
- Refuses to eat...yeah right nothing EVER refuses to eat here