Friday, 21 December 2012

"P" Day has arrived

Well the day had come, and there was much anticipation around Casa Chaos, actually that is not strictly true, I was excited, no one else really cared! It was parsnip harvesting day, where I would be rewarded with fresh, tasty parsnips, ready to eat and sell. I had fraggles asking for them, which is good, however,  I had made a point of saying I might not be able to supply, as I had no idea what they would turn out like, and thank god I had been prepared.

I am no gardener, and over the years have managed to kill more plants, and trees than any other human being. So, I was nervous about the parsnip growing, however, the Spanish vegetable god that I know had assured me that you just throw the seeds in the ground, water, and leave alone. I presumed that a few months later voile, I would have parsnips.

So, off I skipped to the parsnip patch where there was a full patch of greens, this was a good sign, it meant that something was under the ground. I gently begun to pull at the greens, and was surprised how easily they cam out of the ground. The first few were really small, in fact tiny and didn't really look like the plump, juicy parsnips that I had imagined.

I considered that it may be because I had selected from the edge, I have no idea why that would make a difference, but it seemed logical to me. So, I delved into the middle, and pulled, but another very tiny parsnip appeared, and this one looked like those alien fruits and veg, which you see on worlds weirdest items.

I appear to have the smallest crop of parsnips known to man, and was frantically wondering if every single one was the same. Now I knew that I couldn't pop them back in the ground, and pray they would get bigger, So, I called the Spanish veg god. He came round to examine my inferior crop, and knew exactly what was wrong...they needed longer! In typical Spanish tradition...manana...manana...manana.

He said that they had not grown enough, and I had to wait! Did he not understand that it was Christmas Day on Tuesday  there was no waiting time! People were depending on my growing abilities to serve their fresh parsnips on Tuesday.

There is no miracle, no quick fix and no way that I am serving parsnips on Tuesday  I feel that my whole Christmas has been destroyed by one slow growing root vegetable. Maybe they will be ready for Kings on the 6th January, or maybe even Easter, who knows! I have to simply wait!

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