Sunday, 21 October 2012

Sexing a duck....

We are 90% sure that Jessica is in fact Justin, and that we not only managed to buy a crippled duck, but also the wrong sexes! After much research and speaking to a local Spanish guy it seems that there are clear ways to sex a duck these include:

1. The tail feathers...which is what the "expert" duck seller supposedly did  and oh yeah got it wrong!
2. The red comb on their faces is larger, brighter, and uglier, well yeah it is but that is because the ducks face is bigger than all the others!
3. Male ducks don't quack apparently  but neither do Muscovy ducks, which is what we have, so surely that makes no sense as both male and female ducks don't quack....
4. Male ducks are larger, yeah, ok, that one could be a good indication, however, we just thought she might be fat!

Just as my boredom levels were increasing, and I was fed up of hearing useless ways to tell me if my duck was either a mutant female duck or a male duck, the Spanish guy asked if I had seen the ducks "pasta stick". I stopped in my tracks, and questioned whether I had heard correctly, as penis in Spanish is pene, which when spelt penne is a pasta.

No, I had heard right, and the Spanish guy went onto explain that just as a male duck jumps off after doing the deed, you can see his willy for a split second and it resembles pasta! At this point years of working in kitchens raced through my mind, what type of pasta? was it Penne, spaghetti, bucatini, fettuccine, there was so many to choose, some with very bad images going on in my head!

I had to venture further into this weird conversation and innocently asked what style of pasta, where he smiled and said Rotini Pasta of course! at that split second I knew that was what was in the jar in the kitchen, oh my god for years I have been buying pasta that looks like a ducks willy!!!

Armed with the new information and different ways to check the duck, I opted to consider the first 4 ways, and need a volunteer to check for the last one. Although I am liberal requesting that my children examine the duck to see if it has a piece of rotini pasta sticking out of it after it jumps off a duck, may be considered too weird even in Casa Chaos!

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